Day 225 ~ Hometown Holiday

August 13, 2014

My Instead:  I visited the four corners of Belleville's public square.

A nice, warm summer’s night…how about a swim? Well, maybe not a swim, but definitely an up close investigation of Belleville’s Veteran Memorial Fountain. I drove to downtown Belleville, parked my car on the street behind the courthouse building and started walking towards the fountain. After about 25 paces, I realized that the fountain staring back at me was bone dry. What the heck! Now what was I going to “instead” about? Then it dawned on me that the essence of Belleville was not this fountain, but rather all that was around me. The four corners of the public square contained the history, the people, the art, and the beauty of my hometown, Belleville.

The first corner contained five large stones bearing the names of Belleville’s war veterans. My dad, Melvin J Becker, was among the 1,560 names etched on both sides of the monuments. I stood in silence for a few moments to honor those that served our country to maintain its freedom…the freedom that I take for granted every day of my life…but not right now.

The second corner honored Curt Weisenstein, Belleville’s “special servant”. He was our city’s self-appointed errand runner, weed puller, street cleaner, and time keeper. Through the years, I remembered witnessing Curt on the move and always on a mission. He was going in all directions doing favors for the various store owners that valued his services, his honesty, and his generous spirit. A clock with a plaque is a tribute to one of Belleville’s finest, Curt Weisenstein.

The third corner was adorned with polished metal artworks and granite benches engraved to immortalize cherished loved ones. One could gaze for moments or hours at these pieces and leave feeling enriched.

The fourth corner was right in front of the St. Clair County Courthouse. This huge building is a busy edifice in the light of day; but in the evening, the fountains come alive with an ambience that renders a likeness to that of a vacation attraction…but it’s right here in my hometown.

Was I disappointed that the fountain was shut off for the evening? Yes, for a moment I was. But, instead, I was given the opportunity to know, feel, and embrace where I’ve been for the last 62 years…my hometown.  

 

Day 224 ~ Carry On, Kids!

August 12, 2014

My Instead: My friend Annette and I took my grandkids on a “park crawl”.

My “every other Tuesday” was here once again. It was my turn to watch my grandchildren Abbey and Andy while their mom Shaundra went to work. This time, however, I would have my grandson Tyler and his “frother” (friend and brother) Danny along too. It was the last week before school was to start and we were all going to make the most of it. Originally, I had planned to take them to Splash City, a local water park, but the weather was a bit on the chilly side for that. I decided (for everyone) that we would spend the day doing a “park crawl” (visiting various parks in the area).

My friend Annette and I loaded up my Honda with every kind of outside toy we could scavenge in my garage…baseball gloves, a bat, hula-hoops, scooters, Frisbees, a football, etc. There was no room for boredom in the back of my car. My CRV somehow converted to a BUS as we tooled along to pick up the kids at two different households.

We arrived at our first park of the day, Three Springs Park in Shiloh, Illinois, and met my sister Karen and her two boys Connor and Aidan. All the activities available at this park made us feel like we were visiting 5 or 6 parks at one time! We enjoyed the playground; then were off to the baseball diamond where we older kids got to have some fun; then shot some hoops at the basketball court; then savored the sand with some volleyball and sand castles; then topped it all off with hula-hoops and Frisbees.

Karen and the boys had to take off because of previously-made commitments, but the rest of us were eager to “crawl” to our next park, Schranz Memorial Park. This park, just off Route 159 in Swansea, had a “splash pad”. It was a bit chilly for water play, but the male of the species didn’t seem to notice their goose bumps as they executed some typical splash antics. Abbey was amused just being the audience.

After Annette and I provided towels for the boys to dry off, we all headed to our next point of exploration…the amazing Swansea Kingdom Playground, which stood across the parking lot from the splash pad. The kids (young and old) climbed in, on and around all the various nooks and crannies this playground had to offer. Little 2-year-old Andy had no problem keeping up with the big kids, but I was beginning to wonder if Annette could keep up with him!

At the end of our busy day, I asked which activity did each of them like the best. Danny shouted resounding approval for the Swansea Kingdom Playground. I think they all agreed that we had saved the best for last. My favorite part was living in the moment with these amazing people who will carry on long after I am gone and they will do just fine…but today…I got to “carry on” with them.

 

Day 223 ~ Where, Oh Where?

August 11, 2014

My Instead: I tried to help a stranger find her dog.

Will wonders never cease! I was running AHEAD of schedule (not behind) getting to my next job of the day in Mascoutah. As I pulled up to the stop sign, I noticed a woman posting a flyer on the light pole. My first thought was that she was having a yard sale! Then I looked a little closer at the flyer and realized that she had lost an animal.

Not thinking much of it, I rolled through the intersection. Then it clicked! I immediately navigated the first turn I could to make my way back to her. As I got out of my car, I noticed her walking with a mission to the other side of the street to post the flyer on another pole for drivers to see going in the opposite direction. I yelled to her asking what she had lost. Thinking that I had spotted her missing dog, she came over to me excited. Unfortunately, that was not the case. A little disappointed, she graciously answered my interrogation about her lost Maltipoo, Bella. I assured her that I just wanted to join the quest to find her pet. I asked to take a photo of the flyer so that I would have her information right at hand if I did find the little rascal.

We parted ways and I began my search, slowly driving on all the back streets looking for this 5-pound ball of fur. I was on a mission!  Thinking she was just a wad of paper or a plastic bag, would I even notice it was Bella even if I saw her,? I asked a few people I found walking their dogs if they had seen a little white dog…no avail.  Foreign as it was for me to be concerned about someone’s dog, I pursued my assignment with a passion, hoping to find Bella and take her back home. I wanted to see and feel the joy that it would bring to the owner and to me! My time ran out and I had to give up. Disappointed.

Fortunately, this story has a happy ending. Little Bella was found 39 hours later, miles away from home, with the help of Facebook friends. The dog's owner Cassy told me that she was so grateful that there are good people out there...always a nice reminder.

 

 

 

Day 222 ~ Spa-ghetti

August 10, 2014

My Instead: I enjoyed a “spa morning” with the girls.

It was the last day of my Farmington weekend visit with Annette. Our friend Teri, who joined us the day before for Jour de Fête, had spent the night. And spend the night she did! Annette and Teri imbibed some wine to detach from reality a bit and that’s when the evening blossomed. Belly dancing is one of Annette’s sideline activities since she gave up basketball over 20 years ago. She had a “show” to do for some “folks in the home” on Monday, so she wanted our advice on what her attire should be. Within minutes, she returned to make her grand entrance into the sunroom donned with her belly dancing garb and her big black “Cher” wig, looking a bit more like Howard Stern than Cher. We laughed until we peed and eventually Teri and I were flipping our lids as well by donning this swanky coiffure.

The morning greeted us a bit more calmly than the night before...coffee and breakfast prepared by Annette, I at my laptop blogging and Teri enjoying the company. After we enjoyed the break-feast, I suggested that a ladies’ spa day might be a grand idea. After all, Teri’s expertise is doing nails, Annette is a licensed massage therapist, and I am…a great recipient!

So the rest of our morning was a pampering session. Teri pampered Annette and me with relaxing manicures and Annette “unwound” our neck muscles and had Teri and me feeling like clocks with no sense of time. Thank you both for the generosity of your hands, your heads, and, most of all, your hearts.

 

Day 221 ~ French Twist

August 9, 2014

My Instead: I attended the Jour de Fête at St. Genevieve, Missouri.

My friend Annette and I had planned to go to the annual festival called Jour de Fête in the Historic District in St. Genevieve, Missouri during my weekend visit to Farmington. The two cities are neighbors along Highway 32 so it seemed like a pretty good idea to catch it while I was “in the neighborhood”. I had been to St. Genevieve a few times, but I had never been there for this event.

We arrived later than originally planned due to some major lollygagging with our friend Jan, who had decided not to join us for the Jour de Fête venture. We found a parking spot not too far away and walked our way to where the crowds were. Again, the weather was pretty pleasant for mid-August. The vendors were plentiful, but not pushy. We walked along, stopping every now and again to gawk at their miscellaneous merchandise. As expected, we did purchase a few small items, mostly jewelry, to keep the vendors in business and to adorn our bodies with the local treasures.

Our friend Teri texted me and asked to join us. Luckily, we were able to enjoy the last hour of the festival with her. The three of us had great conversations catching up with Teri’s life and, of course, her catching up with ours. In case you didn’t know (because I haven’t mentioned it up until now), Annette and I decided to start dating each other. This is a big deal to each of us because we’ve both been single for a few years. Unfortunately or fortunately, Teri’s relationship was appearing to be coming to an end.

It was kind of ironic, with all the hubbub around us, the three of us were almost oblivious to it. I guess women can be pretty good at tuning things out and focusing in on what’s important to them. Well, maybe men can be like that too…I’m sure there are a plethora of wives out there that would agree. But when it comes to us gals getting together, it’s usually amazing because our hearts allow and our heads engage. Maybe that’s how we’re different from the guys. Well, that is one woman’s observation. No, I am not a feminist.

Jour de Fête is French for “feast day”. And that is exactly what we did…feasted!

 

 

Day 220 ~ Bush Hog Heaven

August 8, 2014

My Instead: I drove a tractor at a friend's place and bush-hogged an entire field.

Spending a 3-day weekend in the country was next on my schedule...no yards to mow, no houses to clean, and no rooms to paint. It was just a “whatever” weekend to enjoy with friends. The bonus is my friend Annette is wonderful at making people feel right at home. And I am her perfect subject because I love the feeling of home.

Our friend Jan was supposed to come down later for a one-day visit. Annette was preparing while I occupied her sunroom to write a few blogs. She did her thing while I did mine, with intermittent girl talk as our only distraction.

Jan arrived around noon and the party started. Annette’s neighbor Mary stopped in as well which added to the dynamics already in the works. While Jan and Annette fixed us all something to eat, Mary and I had a one-on-one conversation in the sunroom. The subject of my doing different things this year surfaced…probably because I was sitting at my laptop pecking down a few “blog” notes as they entered my brain. Surprising to me, Mary suggested something new I could do. How about a drive on her new tractor? It took about a half second for me to say yes!

Later in the afternoon, Mary and I drove a little farther down that country road to her place. We managed to pull the tractor out of the shed and then got the attached bush hog engaged. I was off and running! The overgrown field behind Mary’s garden was wanting my attention, so that is where “my little red tractor” and I headed. Would one trip around be enough for this farmer’s granddaughter? No way on God’s green earth! All I could imagine myself doing at this moment was to ride in the warm sunshine, just me and my grandpa…my little piece of heaven right here in Mary’s field.

This “instead” is pretty high on my list thus far. It just surprises and amazes me all the wonderful things that have manifested throughout the year since I’ve been OPEN to possibilities. I’ve seized the moments and have brought more joy to my life. Hmmmm…just what I had in mind.

 

Day 219 ~ Discomfort Zone

August 7, 2014

My Instead: I walked a railroad track alone at night in the pitch dark.

A late night trip to Farmington, Missouri in the pouring rain can wreak havoc on one’s nerves. And frenzied motorists can definitely add to the breakdown. Therefore, I was never so glad to be getting closer to my destination. My friend Annette was waiting patiently for my late arrival.

The sky over Route 32 was darkened, due to the remaining clouds from its earlier downpour. My car and I were doing our best to stay en route to Annette’s house; however, I did wonder what I would do for my “instead” at this late hour. The clock was ticking and the possibilities were waning. Or were they?

As I passed over some railroad tracks, the idea took form. I slowed down, stopped, went in reverse and then parked on the side of the highway, just past the tracks. It was dark, lonely and spooky on that desolate highway. After locking up my car, I marched over to the railroad tracks and set my pace to that of the railroad ties that lay before me.

I looked around as far as my eyes could see in the darkness, wondering if anyone was lurking behind the surrounding brush. Then it dawned on me that I was probably the only one crazy enough to be “lurking” out there anyway. Advancing farther into the darkness of the tracks, I realized I was also moving farther away from my car. Reaching the point of no return was not my intention. Simply put, I wanted to feel the isolation, face my fears and humor my discomfort. Missions accomplished.

The rails and ties transformed into an obstacle course with sticks and debris and overgrown weeds, encouraging me to “stop in my tracks”. I made an about face and “strolled” swiftly back to my car…my comfort zone. Feeling like I just played a starring role in the “Blair Witch Project”, I made a bee line the rest of the way to Annette’s. She greeted me with her usual smiling face and my temporary frenzy just washed away.

A simple nighttime stroll on a desolate railroad track proved to emit many unexpected thoughts and feelings. The only “special effects” were a woman and her imagination.  

 

Day 218 ~ An Old Dog

August 6, 2014

My Instead: I got a lesson on how to spin a basketball on the tip of my finger.

My friend Annette had some vacation time to burn off, so she opted to spend some of it with me. Since she had never seen my crib before, there was no better time than the present for her to come all the way to Belleville to visit me! Understanding that my schedule is pretty jammed pack with work and “insteads” and blogging, she provided dinner for us…one of my favorite summer meals, BLTs.

We were a bit indecisive about what to do after we ate. Should we take a walk, catch a movie, have a drink, or just stay in and chill? We agreed to stay in. Both our lives needed some down time. As it turned out though, it was not the time for “down”…entirely the opposite.   

Annette was quite the basketball player in her day and I wanted to take full advantage of her expertise. I emerged from my garage with a basketball, suggesting that she show me how to do a basketball-spin on one finger. She admitted that she was probably a little rusty, but I reminded her that anything is better than what I could do. After a few spinning flounders, Annette was back in the groove. She showed me the basics and then it was my turn. What the heck! This was harder than I thought. I couldn’t do it on my first try! Nor my fiftieth! Oh, I got it to spiral a few times and the look on my face was priceless, according to Annette. Bless her heart.

We continued with the lessons and the laughs. Annette reassured me that she had practiced for hours and hour to master the technique. I was about 30 minutes into it and expecting to be Michael Jordan! I was determined, but apparently you need more than determination. Maybe I'll keep a basketball close by and give it a spin once in a while…you never know what an old dog can learn.

We ventured on to hula-hoops in hopes that I could master something before the evening ended. Speaking on my own behalf, I did perform better with the hoop. Not much better, but better. Annette, however, showed off her athletic ability again and was hula hooping to beat the band. I was feeling a bit intimidated, but it was nothing my aging ego could not handle.

Whether or not I aced either one of these two activities is probably a moot point. What IS the point? I guess it’s just living life, laughing loud, learning lots, and loving.

And the moment is now.

Annette spinning the ball

One of my many flounders

The picture looks better than the actual spin. Oh well.

Fun time whether I'm spinning or not

The look on my face after a "successful" spin

My hula-hoop endeavor

 

Annette showing off with the hula-hoop
 

 

 

 

Day 217 ~ Tip of the Day

August 5, 2014 

My Instead: I gave two $5 tips to two different employees at the McDonald's drive-thru windows.

Another long day of cleaning the “killer house” and then another “easier” house out in Freeburg, Illinois…long day. But it wasn’t over yet! With work still to be done in the evening, I had no time to stop back home and pretend to be Rachel Ray in the kitchen. So later, on my way back into Belleville to tackle a basement floor paint job, I stopped at McDonald’s…yes, fast food.

I moseyed along in the drive-thru lane, placed my order, and proceeded to the first window to pay. I headed for the second window to pick up my McChicken and fries. And there it appeared in my mind’s eye! My tip of the day! Why had I NEVER “seen” this before? I backed up my car to the first window again and said to the gal “You deserve a tip, don’t ya?” and handed her a 5-dollar bill. She was shocked and surprised…and so thankful. I was beaming at her amazement. On to the second window…I handed this gal a 5-dollar bill as well and exclaimed “You deserve a tip too, right?” She said that I didn't have to do that…oh, yes, I did! Her smile lingered as I pulled away. And so did mine.

I was ten dollars poorer...but so much richer.

 

 

Day 216 ~ The Priceless is Right

August 4, 2014

My Instead: My grandson Tyler and I went to Heroic Adventures Comic Book Store in Edwardsville, Illinois.

It was 6^th grade physical time for my grandson Tyler. His mom, my daughter Robin, needed some help getting him to the doctor for his 1:30 appointment. I was busy in the morning with work and had a retirement planning meeting in Edwardsville in the late afternoon, but I promised her that I would squeeze it into my day.

Tyler and I made it to the doctor’s office just a few minutes late, but don’t worry…the doctor was not pacing the floor waiting for our arrival. In fact, I had to plead with the staff to try to get us through quickly because we had to be in Edwardsville by 3:00. Needless to say, we were not punctual for that appointment. Nevertheless, my retirement planning meeting went off without a hitch, despite our late arrival…and Tyler was a complete gem sitting in on all that boring financial stuff. I guess I was a gem too.

Now it was our time! While looking for a restaurant in a strip mall, we discovered a comic book and game store called Heroic Adventures. Tyler was interested and I was, well, NOT. But…I was open to doing something different, “instead” of the usual. Who knew where this “heroic adventure” could lead!

There were a lot of hero-type plastic figures, ranging from Superman, to Spiderman and all the freaky creatures in between. Tyler had his heart and my pocketbook set on one of them in particular. Don’t ask me which one because they all looked pretty similar…and so did their price tag. The one he wanted was $25. Ouch! Seriously? I gave my usual monologue “Do you know how hard I work for my money?” And “Do you know what else we can do or get with $25?” And “I know just where this super hero will end up…strewn somewhere on the floor in your bedroom.” The answer was no. I am not that grandma.

While perusing the rest of the store, we observed two young men playing a board game called Carcassone. Never heard of it. It looked to me like a cross between the game of Risk and Dominos. There was a strategy to the game, but it was nothing that appealed to me. I am more of an “interactive game” kind of gal, like Pictionary, Charades, Catch Phrase, etc. Games that get the blood moving, along with the brain. Speaking of interactive though, these two gentleman were very forthcoming about explaining the object of the game and even telling us a little bit about themselves!

Overall, the experimental “let’s see if Grandma can get into this” venture left something to be desired. Let’s face it, a game and comic book store would not be my first choice for a fun evening out. However, it was not a total loss…I did enjoy the interactive play with the “game boys”.

Getting back to Tyler though…he was not happy with my “no” to his super hero purchase, but he did get over it and the night was spent happily at my home with pizza and a movie. Total cost? $25…go figure. But as the commercial says, priceless!

 

Day 215 ~ Tank You Very Much

August 3, 2014

My Instead: My friend and I explored a huge, old army tank in Farmington, Missouri.

Saturday night was dance fever with Tony the DJ at the Back Door off St. Charles Rock Road in St. Louis. My friend Annette was the “instigator in charge”. She always seems to get me out and about so I can shake my groove thing. And that is what we did. After the dance, my car and I followed Annette and her truck, making the long trek to her place in Farmington, Missouri in hopes to laze our Sunday away.

The morning greeted me with a cup of coffee and doughnuts and relaxing on Annette's large stuffed chair in the sunroom...just visiting and chilling. The afternoon awarded me some relaxation in her pool and then more of the same outside the pool in her chaise lounge...just sharing with no caring.

The evening sneaked in way too soon and we both wanted to ward it off. Knowing that the fight was futile, we decided to go out and get something to eat instead. Applebee’s in Farmington seemed like the logical choice…good, familiar and close. We shared a double entrée menu item and finished it up in no time flat.

After dinner, we decided to call it a night, until I realized I had an “instead” to do for the day. I asked her if there was anything or any place she knew of that we could explore. She drew a blank. Let’s just drive! We cruised around scoping the area to find our adventure. Stop! And there it was…a huge army tank next to a VFW hall. Annette quickly pulled her truck over and we jumped out to examine our find. I discovered a high step in the back on which to lift my foot and then climbed up onto this monster. The hips weren’t so old, after all. I felt like “king of the mountain”. Annette was down below, looking pretty small for six foot tall. But she was ready to be the photographer as my conquest and I posed for some pictures.

Then it was Annette’s turn to take the giant leap for womankind. I made it down off the beast as she was climbing up. My turn to do the photo favor. We both relished the moment and appeared about 40 years younger by our actions. This was our playground.

We weren’t sure what kind of action this tank saw during any of the wars, but it definitely got some action that night by two woman looking to do something “instead”.

 

Day 214 ~ Flying High

August 2, 2014

My Instead: I jumped off a swing just like when I was a kid, along with my grandson Tyler.   

On Friday night, Tyler and I went to see the movie “Lucy” (bizarre flick about brain capacity). And as is usually the case, he spent the night with me. My cupboards typically resemble those of Mother Hubbard, so the next morning we made our familiar pilgrimage to Quick Trip for doughnuts.  

Unfortunately, I had to work that Saturday to stay caught up with all my jobs, but Tyler and I carved out just enough time to explore a nearby park (Bicentennial Park) that the two of us had never visited together before. We took a few minutes to devour our doughnuts and then he immediately went to the swing to perform his version of a trapeze act. Like most of us have done in our childhood, he got up as high as he could swing and then jumped off, flying high into the air. He did it a few more times, then we decided to hike the nature trail. Frustrated with myself, I asked Tyler, “Now why didn’t I jump off the swing?” Doing and not just watching is the course I want to follow this year, after all! I constantly have to remind myself to, you know, be a kid again! I asked Tyler to remind to do the “trapeze” after our hike.

Nearing the end of our hike, we found a young man and woman (early twenties or so) sitting on a hillside. They were both looking down, engrossed in what they were doing. I went up to them, assuming they were either texting or searching the web, and asked them where their phones were. Each of them reached into a pocket and pulled it out. Oops! I apologized, saying “Well, you know how it is these days with everyone on their cells and not interacting with those right next to them”. They laughed and agreed. I asked them what they had been originally looking down at and they said “a stick”. We all laughed again. I said “Good for you…enjoy your day!” They smiled with a “you too!” Nice kickoff to a Saturday!

Tyler and I made it back to the swing and now it was my turn to aviate. I did it! I flew a whole 6 inches off the ground! I did it another time to get the feel of being a kid again and then stopped after that so I wouldn’t break a hip! It was an invigorating “visit”!

It was time to take Tyler home. There is a footnote I have to interject here. Unfortunately, the onset of puberty is changing Tyler and changing us. I do not want to see this on the horizon; I know the effect those teen years can have on familial relationships. Oftentimes, the damage is repairable…sometimes it’s not. This was not going to happen to Tyler and me! I opened the conversation on the way back home and it got a little tense. I explained my love and connection to him and how I’m broken when he is “not connected” to me. He eventually blurted an “I’m sorry”. I immediately stopped the sermon and said “Now let’s have some fun!” We were back on track! During the rest of the ride, it was just Tyler and his grandma. We were flying high!

 

Day 213 ~ Afternoon Delight

August 1, 2014

My Instead: I was a customer for an ice cream truck riding through the neighborhood.

This August afternoon caught me at home, loading up my car to head to my next job. I was grabbing a bite inside, peanut butter over the sink, when I heard the ice cream truck coming down my street. I was on the phone with my friend Maureen when I screeched my exuberance. She didn’t know what was going on and was ready to call 911 for me.

I raced outside to find the acoustic origin. The van slowly made its way in front of my home and I saw the friendly face of its female driver, Anita. I explained to her quickly about my doing something different every day and that this was “it” for the day! She immediately melded into my excitement.

Before I even indicated to her that I was going to make a purchase, I asked Anita if she would take my picture by her van. She darted out and was set to do the deed as if she had done it for all her customers. What a trouper she was! She directed me to give her a “thumbs up” and snapped the shot. My childlike moment frozen forever.

I graciously thanked her for her photographic genius and then proceeded to ponder over my selection. And there it was…a Cookies and Cream Screamer. I paid the lady, adding a dollar tip so well-deserved. My new friend and I said our good-byes. I watched her drive away, like a little kid observing as a best friend rides off in the distance, moving to a different town.

My afternoon disrupted, but in such a refreshing and memorable way. Disruption…not always a bad thing.

 

Day 212 ~ No Time to Clean Out Gutters

July 31, 2014

My Instead: I made myself comfortable out on my roof while talking to a friend on the phone.

God knows I’ll never climb onto the roof out my bedroom window to elope, right? Those that know me realize that the reason I’m out on any roof is usually to clean out someone’s gutters. Not quite as romantic. Nonetheless, I planned that one of my “insteads” was to spend an evening on the roof above my all-seasons room, just to sit a spell…no eloping and definitely no gutter cleaning.

The shank of the evening was fading and bedtime was growing closer. Usually, it was time to settle in between the sheets and relax with a book or some Jimmy Fallon. Tonight, however, would be my pseudo campout on the roof…at least for an hour or so.

I got my bed all made up out on the roof outside my window. Another July evening was cooperating with mighty fine weather. Already involved in a phone conversation with my friend Annette, I climbed out the window and settled into my “nest”. We continued our chat with the sound of crickets in the background, talking about the stuff that new friends talk about and much more. We found that this simple change in geography redirected the course of our communication, transforming the subject matter and lifting the mood even more.

It made me wonder how many heated discussions could be tamed by simply stepping outside…how many wavering relationships could begin healing with a simple tweak of habit…how many families could start growing together by just doing something else instead…