The EYES have it!: Day 362 ~ Pool Hall Parenting

December 28, 2014

My Instead: I played pool with my girlfriend and then joined in with another couple.

I was spending half the weekend in Farmington, Missouri with my girlfriend Annette. Since she had spent so much time in “my neck of the woods” during the holidays and because she had to work on Saturday, the least I could do was come her way and spend a Sunday with her.

We spent a typical Sunday morning talking, enjoying breakfast, blogging, and cleaning up the kitchen. Annette had mentioned the night before that she had to go into work the next day to do a treatment on one of her patients - she is a physical therapist assistant. After my brief feigned tantrum, I “settled down” and agreed to go into town with her the next day while she tended to her patient.

We arrived at her facility around 4:30 for Annette to treat her patient and do last-minute tweaks to her schedule - she is also the program director. When she went to find her patient to be treated, she discovered that the woman had been sent back to the hospital due to some liver complication. No treatment today! Annette completed and printed out her schedule, then we were off to the bowling alley…my “instead” for the day. When we got there, it was closed. Seriously? Now what? She knew of a pool hall called “Stix and Steins” for us to check out and perhaps play our first game of pool together. When we got to the parking lot, we saw two hunter-type men enter the building. Annette did NOT want to go inside to be with a bunch of tough guys. I insisted that it would be okay and pleaded to just do it. As we entered, we both realized it would be okay. There were plenty of open pool tables and there were other women there, as well. It was not the “Deliverance” scenario that we both envisioned it to be.

After we talked to our friend Jan on the phone about our plans for New Year’s Eve, we found a table, got some quarters, racked up the balls, and began shooting. Neither one of us is a wiz at this bar game – when you think about it, I guess that’s a good thing. Right? We were finishing up our second game when a young man playing nearby asked us to join him and his girlfriend in a game of 8-ball. Of course, we took him up on his offer. We found out that his girlfriend, who is 26, was 5 ½ months pregnant. He had just turned 21 a few months earlier and was drinking his share to mark the occasion. He was also smoking like a pile of wet leaves and boasting that he goes to the pool hall every other night to sharpen his skills at billiards. Ugh. He was nice enough, but I was very bothered with what I saw as a dismal future for this young couple.

We played 5 games that ended with Annette and me reigning as champions. Honestly, they kind of helped us out by scratching on the 8-ball shot twice. Oh, well. During the game and with his every trip to the bar to get another 24 oz. draft beer, I was setting up my soapbox and preparing my speech.

When we announced that we were heading out, I asked the young “father” to come over to talk to me a minute. I prefaced my speech saying that I was 62-years-old and I’ve seen some stuff. Then I told him (in my opinion) this: “The most underrated thing in this world is the importance of the role of the father.” I believe this with all my heart. Did he get it? No. He talked like he got it, but there is no way. He was more concerned about NO ONE ever taking his kid away from him than he was about TAKING CARE of the baby. He had big plans about getting a new job paying 16 bucks an hour with full benefits and a motorcycle to save on gas. He has some buddies that don’t see their kids and he was NOT going to be like them. Good in theory, but, again, he’s 21. His son is here NOW and he is “hanging” like the 21-year-old that he is. Will this change after his son is born? Not likely. I feel that his girlfriend will step up to the challenges of parenthood. As far as “Daddy” goes, the chances of that are slim to none. But I will pray for him to grow up a lot sooner than he should have had to. He is a dad, after all.

As for me, once a parent, always a parent. But you have to START somewhere. I just hope this guy doesn't decide to start at the finish line.