Day 273 ~ Dear Aunt Dora

September 30, 2014

My Instead: I wrote my Aunt Dora a love letter.

“You what?” That’s what you’re thinking, right? All I can say is “Try it sometime!” Write a letter that fills someone with your love. Or say it to them. Just do it! Do not let it go unsaid!

My Uncle Kenny’s wife, my Aunt Dora, was a loving force to my mom and dad throughout Dad’s last months after his pancreatic cancer diagnosis. She would call EVERY night. And like a child waiting for a call from Santa Claus, Mom and Dad were counting on her call. Below is an excerpt from my letter.

One night when I was over at Mom and Dad’s, your nightly call came through. Unfortunately, Dad was not as sharp as he had been during the many other previous calls. His liver was giving out and his brain was not working as well anymore. He was confused at times and his speech was becoming sluggish. I remember watching Dad…I wondered what you thought and how you felt as you listened to him. Your heart must have been aching along with ours because you knew the end was near. You were going to lose a brother-in-law and a friend…and a longtime connection to the only love of your life, Kenny.

The joy it brought me to put my feelings down on paper was wonderful. Yes, the joy it brought me! I had felt this way for 2 ½ years, but I had never told her! Why not? It's funny (okay, maybe funny isn't the word to use) how most of us, me included, do not hesitate to be negative with a loved one. (Of course, it’s for their own good, we think to ourselves.) But how often do we reach in and yank out a positive and loving feeling or memory to share with someone? Is it fear of how we will be perceived? I really need to work on this more. Anyone else?

Thank you, Aunt Dora, for the love. As Maya Angelou quoted “I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”

I won’t forget.

 

Day 272 ~ Ms. and Mr. Wizard

September 29, 2014

My Instead: My grandkids, Abbey and Andy, and I performed two different science experiments with water.

After working a grueling job for 6 hours Monday, it was my time. And my time sometimes means adding a few other ingredients…not parsley and sage, but rather, Abbey and Andy. I gathered them up from their home south of Smithton and followed the road back to Belleville. Our first stop was the “fish park” (Roosevelt grade school’s playground), our usually stomping grounds since it is so close to my house.

The park was fun as usual, but the agenda for the evening was full...Grandma had plans to do some scientific stuff. So we had to limit the park time and get back to my house for some “Ms. and Mr. Wizard” time. Fortunately, the kids knew I had something special in store for them, so it didn’t take much urging to load them into the car and play like “Little Red Riding Hood”. Off to Grandmother’s house we go.

The first experiment was the one where you stick your finger into a bowl of water with pepper sprinkled in it and nothing happens. Then you soap up your finger, stick it into the peppered water again and the pepper scatters like crazy to the sides of the bowl. Magic! Or so they thought. They loved it…but not as much as the next trick/experiment.

Why do kids love to do anything that involves balloons? It’s a fact and Abbey and Andy are proof of that. They were “all in” during our search throughout my house for balloons…I just knew I had some somewhere. Yes, you got it…they were on the floor of my closet. We got two blown up, one for each of them. I proceeded to light a candle and then instructed them to hold the balloon over the open flame.  Abbey went first. Kaboom! Then it was Andy’s turn and with his nerves of steel, he held the balloon over the flame just like big sister. Kaboom! Part I of that experiment was done.

Part II. We filled two balloons with water. "Am I really doing this trick in my newly-remodeled kitchen?" I thought. What ya do for your grandkids! Then a moment of ingenious struck. How about putting the lighted candle in the sink…just in case this doesn’t work like on the YouTube video. We held a water-filled balloon over the flame. No kaboom. We held it over the flame so long that the bottom of the balloon turned as black as the lungs of a 4-pack-a-day smoker. Success…just like the video!  Scientifically, I could not explain it, but the kids didn’t care…and neither did I.

When we got our mess cleaned up, I drove them back home to Mom and Dad. It was music to my ears to hear Abbey “explain” our little experiments. Kyle and Shaundra listened and asked all kinds of questions. Abbey was in her glory telling all the details.

Later, I thought to myself...maybe, someday, Abbey and Andy will do these wonderments with their own kids. After all, how do traditions get started anyway?

 

Day 271 ~ Jumpstart Sunday

September 28, 2014

My Instead: I did a science experiment for Annette with water, pepper and dish soap.

You just never know what you’re going to discover on Facebook. One of my friends posted a link showing how to do various experiments with water. Instead of getting busy with my day, I watched all eight videos demonstrating the experiments. I thought that those would be fun to do with my grandkids some time...and left it at that.

So anyway, this Sunday morning rolled around after our big day Saturday at the St. Charles Oktoberfest. I wasn’t stiff or sore from my bungee experience and was rip-roarin’ ready to go paint my mom’s fence with Annette. The weather was perfect for painting and I needed to get this done before it decided to rain again. Annette and I had breakfast (that she made while I blogged). Suddenly, the idea of one of those experiments popped into my head. I thought Annette would get a kick out of it, so I quickly prepared the countertop with the necessary materials.  

While my memory served me, I filled a bowl of water and sprinkled black pepper into it. I asked Annette to stick her finger into the middle of the bowl of water. Nothing happened. She dried her finger off and then I doused it with dish soap. I instructed her to stick her finger into the middle of the water bowl again. The pepper scattered to the outer periphery of the bowl like a crowded dance floor clears for me when I’m out there dancing! Okay, that may be a bit exaggerated, but you know what I mean. Annette was amazed and amused…just was I was going for!

It just took a few moments, but it jumpstarted our Sunday with a sprinkle of fun. Turns out, painting Mom’s fence was more enjoyable for us (and Mom) than what we thought it would be.

 

Day 270 ~ Jump for Joy

September 27, 2014

My Instead: I jumped and flipped on the Bungee Trampoline ride at the St. Charles Oktoberfest.

My twin brother Mark and his wife Linda contacted me earlier in the week asking if Annette and I would like to join them at the Oktoberfest in St. Charles. Since I missed the one in Belleville, I thought that this idea was splendid. They wondered if Mom would want to come along and suggested that we bring her with us when we came. Our pleasure!

Mom, Annette and I headed over to the Missouri side after noon on Saturday. We found Mark and Linda in no time flat at the festival. After introductions between Annette and them, the five of us began walking up the midway checking out all the goodies. Not expecting to know anyone there, Annette and I both ran into some friends that we had not seen in a while. We continued on and finally decided on trying some Philly beef sandwiches, piled high with beef strips and cheese. Yummy.

We found a place to sit right where the Milwaukee Glockenspiel would perform their little woodsman dance routine. It was fun to watch, but I had my eye on the Bungee Trampoline ride just over my left shoulder...

It was time. Annette and I walked over to the carnival ride…not quite like walking to the gallows. I asked a gal working the ride several questions: “Do you think I can do this?” Yes. “Do you think I can do a back flip (I can do one off a diving board.)?” Yes. “Will I break anything?” No. “How much?” $7 for 3 minutes. I’m in!

And there I stood in line with all those “other kids”. I kept watching and learning. This one little black boy was “tearing it up”, doing flip after flip. He probably weighed about 50 pounds. As I stood there waiting my turn, I spoke with this guy standing outside the ride. I asked why he wasn’t in line  with me to do this. He laughingly and emphatically said “I don’t want to spill my beer!” Oh, well. “There's no fool like an old fool.”

My turn. A young man strapped me into my harness and then tightened the bungee cables for the extra weight load. Okay, I get it. Then up I went, bouncing off the trampoline beneath me until the timing and momentum were just right. Flip! Not quite. I can do this. I bounced a few more times, then the legs went over, followed by the rest of me! Success. Let’s do this again. I had several failed flips and about the same number of successful somersaults…not a bad record for my first time. And we won’t even mention my age. I was getting out of breath. “Woman, 62, dies while on bungee carnival ride.” Nah. The young workers warned me that this 3-minute ride was tiring, even for them. I’ll survive this! And I did.

I got unbuckled and wobbly-walked out of the fenced-in ride, elated! I managed to get over to Annette, who captured snapshots and videos as best she could, per my directions. We went over to where Mom, Mark and Linda awaited my “live” return. I graciously received my kudos and then quietly spoke with my twin, asking if he would be next in line. He was kind of curious, but not enough to get off his chair. I asked “If not now, when?” Tomorrow? Some day? Maybe in your next life?

I choose NOW!

 

Day 269 ~ Mums for Mom

September 26, 2014

My Instead: I took some mums to Mom for no reason.

Finally, the day was here. My mom had been urging me to do some work at her house (and not just do work for other old people).  The job she had in mind was not a small task. She needed me to repair and paint the fence that Dad had built to cordon off the garden from the backyard. I put her in my schedule for September 25th and our Midwest weather actually cooperated.

Mornings (where I don’t have something hard-scheduled with a “non-family” client) can sometimes be a bit scattered for me as I am running around catching up on different undone duties. Had to get going…but wait! Earlier this year, I had brought Mom an ice cream sundae one evening and she really appreciated that. How about some flowers for Mom this time…for no reason?

Running late as I was, I made a trip to Schnuck’s to peruse their floral selection. The prices of some were pretty steep so I decided on white mums. When I got to Mom’s with her surprise, she was downstairs. I showed them to her when she came up and she was pleased, but not overly so. And that’s okay. Giving carries no guarantees of delight from the receiver, right?

As I prepared to do my job, I noticed she had cooked up one of my all-time favorite meals, homemade vegetable beef soup. I guess I am the receiver now! I couldn’t wait ‘til lunch…and boy was it good…and appreciated! After lunch, I started back up again with my work. Mom had the job of priming all the new wood I was replacing (she chose to do this). We were both work horses that day and she is 86!  

Later that evening, we had supper together too…yes, soup again, but no complaints here. We said our prayer of thanks before the meal and she sincerely thanked me for the flowers. Somehow working together the whole day made us appreciate even more all that we have…including the mums.

 

Day 268 ~ Another Mother

September 25, 2014

My Instead: I went to court with my daughter Robin for her to get legal guardianship of Danny, her son’s friend.

My grandson Tyler has had a best friend for several years now. His name is Danny. Earlier this year, Danny’s uncle (his guardian) was having trouble keeping up financially, which meant that the household was not very livable. My daughter Robin stepped in and said that Danny should not have to live like that. She took Danny in.

Months passed and it became evident to Robin that she was going to have to do something more permanent because there was absolutely “no light at the end of the tunnel” at Danny’s previous home. On her own, Robin contacted an attorney and started proceedings to become Danny’s legal guardian. As the court date drew near, she called to update me. She also needed me to keep Danny at my house the morning of, so she could just pick him up from my house at 8:30. I said that would work out fine because my first job was at 9 o’clock.

As the day approached, an impulse came over me “to be there”. To make sure that Robin even wanted me there, I called her first. She said it wasn’t necessary, but it was fine if I wanted to. Good enough for me…she is a big girl, after all! I called my clients and shifted my schedule a bit and all was good to go.

Robin dropped Danny off around 7 a.m. before she went to work and he and I got to enjoy some alone time. As I am prone to do, I reminded him of what his responsibility was in this whole scenario. He understood that he just had to do his best to be a good kid…and so far he has! Robin got back to my house and the three of us went to the St. Clair County Courthouse. Her attorney arrived a little late as he had warned he might. The two of them approached the bench and stood before the judge…and it was decided!

After Robin completed some paperwork and we took some commemorative photos, we walked back to our cars. I asked her how she felt. She said it felt like a “huge weight had been lifted off” her. No, I did not say what my half-bitten tongue wanted to say. I simply said “this is the beginning”. She nodded and agreed.

My baby girl took on the responsibility of another mother’s child that day. There are no words to describe how proud Robin’s mother feels about her daughter. None.

 

 

 

 

Day 267 ~ Hype for the Picking

September 24, 2014

My Instead: I took my grandkids to Eckert's for apple picking and more!

I was looking at another long working day in my rearview and ahead of me, I thought, were a few evening jobs to catch up on my workload. But then I looked at the beautiful day around me on my ride home. What about that thing called “balance” in my life? Time to do something fun and time to do it with kids!

My phone and I got busy calling the moms of my grandchildren. Neither one of them seemed to mind my taking their kids for the evening. Imagine that!  My 16-year-old Honda CRV turned “bus” as I began my polar trips: one to pick up Tyler and Danny in west Belleville and one to get Abbey and Andy south of Smithton. Then the five of us headed east to Eckert’s to do some apple picking. I was outnumbered four to one and the energy level of these kids was a bit higher than mine. “Would I have had an easier evening if I had just gone with my original plan and done more work?” I began to wonder. Come on, I can do this!

We boarded the wagon for the ride out to the orchards, but Andy was not a happy passenger. He loves ‘vroom-vrooms” as he calls trucks, bulldozers, tractors, etc., but he usually enjoys their fun appeal from a distance. When we were finally delivered to our “picking” destination, Andy settled down and was back in business. Apple picking held its allure for about 15 minutes for the kids, then racing between the rows of apple trees became the real attraction. I decided to let them get it out of their systems.

When the wagon came back to get us, we loaded up our bags of apples and ourselves. We arrived at our original starting point, paid for the “fruit” of our hard work, and then stocked my Honda with the apples. It was playground time at last and kid ricochet as they ran from one thing to the next. Tyler and Danny showed off their parkour skills without even breaking a sweat or a bone. Abbey and Andy were never far behind. The sandbox was a nice calming activity…for a while. Then they were all “off and running” again.

Empty stomachs finally ruled as we propelled ourselves to the restaurant. Between ordering and getting our meals, we played tick-tack-toe and chatted about what activity we each liked best. We got our bellies filled and darkness settled in for the evening. It was time to head “homes” in my Honda. I unloaded my “cargos”, then gathered my memories as I returned to my empty home...filled.