Day 58 ~ Hidden Mushroom

Day 58 ~ Hidden Mushroom

Feb 27, 2014 

My first: I lay under a huge water tower, daydreaming and eating ice cream in the freezing cold.

I drove by the huge water tower in Edwardsville, IL in a huge rush because I had been lost on the back roads and was running 15 minutes late. But I knew that I would return to that water tower later in the day when I had time to get a different perspective.

And different perspective I got! From under that water tower, I felt like a very small creature looking up at a huge mushroom. The sky look bluer than most days and, except for the freezing cold, the day was perfect to view my hidden mushroom. Has anyone else taken the time to find you? Do we ever take the time to get a different perspective of things? Are we set in our old stubborn ways? Is it my way or the highway?

A wise woman once told me “It’s all about perception”.  If anyone of us has any ounce of awareness, we know how true this statement is.

And like my hidden mushroom revealed…change your perspective and you may just see things in a whole new light. One that may allow you to grow, believe, feel, hunger, think, try, search, open up… 

Day 57 ~ Pace Yourself

Day 57 ~ Pace Yourself

Feb 26, 2014 

My first: By pulling over onto the shoulder of the highway, I let a driver who was tailgating me pass me by.

I was driving (long after “going home traffic” rush hour) on a highway to Troy IL. As often is the case, the car behind me was following way too close. You can always tell this when all you can see in your rearview mirror are their headlights.

I kept on driving but was getting more and more irritated as I always do with tailgaters.  I was talking to a friend on the phone which kind of helped me to keep my mind off this so-and-so that was in such an all-fired hurry.

Then I had one of those “first for the day” moments and did something that I have only thought about doing up until now. There it was…my “irritation relief” opportunity right there on the side of the road. It was this unusually large shoulder for people having car trouble. Well, I was in a car having people trouble. Close enough for me! I carefully veered over to the shoulder that was calling my name and let this hellion speed on by…and speed on by he (or she) did.

Sometimes you just have to let them pass you by and not get your panties in an uproar about it. Then you just move on and continue going at your own pace and your own volition. 

Day 56 ~ Critic at Large

Day 56 ~ Critic at Large

Feb 25, 2014 

My first: I gave a restaurant a favorable critique on Facebook.

I was going to be doing some “fix-it” work at my friend’s house so, before our visit to Home Depot, we went to breakfast at the neighborhood diner, Troy Family Restaurant in Troy, IL.

A nice lady greeted and seated us, offered us our beverages of choice and said our server would be right with us. The server arrived soon after and took our order in a friendly manner. In about 10 to 15 minutes later, our meals were in front of us steaming out. Everything was there and very nicely presented.  The bacon (and I am picky about my bacon) was just the way I like it…crisp without being overcooked or, worse yet, with areas of raw fat.

When we went up to pay our bill, the two women asked us how everything was. As with most of us, I started to nonchalantly say it was very good. But then I said, “Hey, wait a minute…it was all great!” Then I proceeded to be very specific with compliments of my whole experience at this simple little diner. I also said to be sure and tell that guy back there too, pointing to the kitchen. (I wish I would have gone back there and told the “chef” myself…next time I will!) I asked if they were on Facebook and they said “sure are”. When I had time that evening, I found their Facebook page and composed a post reiterating my pleasant breakfast experience. It felt good to share the “goods”!

So the deal is…Compliments go a long way and I totally believe that they encourage more effort to maintain and improve. The world can ONLY become a better place by NEVER missing the chance to give a sincere compliment! Let’s do it!

Day 55 ~ Break Time

Day 55 ~ Break Time

Feb 24, 2014 

My first: At a gas station, I gave a strange man (who was having issues with his old car) $20 cash.

When I was on my way to my friend’s house in Troy, IL, I decided to go to a gas station and give someone $20 to help them get to where they’re going.

I walked up to a man about in his mid to late 30s. He was adding anti-freeze to his car while filling up with gas. (It looked like he needed a break.) I told him "Please don't think I'm crazy". Then I proceeded to tell him my name was Mary as I held out a $20 dollar bill. I said “This is to help you get to where you’re going…I hope that it's a good place”. He said it is because he's going home. I asked where his home was and he said that it wasn't far from the station. I said "great".  I asked his name as I was walking away and he said "David" and then he added "Don't worry, I will pay it forward". I smiled and kept walking to my car. He got it!

I couldn't help but wonder on my way to my friend’s house if David was thinking about that strange woman with the ball cap who, out of the blue, gave him 20 bucks. Is he wondering what brought me to that point of handing a stranger my hard-earned money? Could he tell that I am not made of money? I will never know where this moment of giving has lead, but I can only hope that my gesture keeps giving.

Day 54 ~ Two Unbroke Girls

Day 54 ~ Two Unbroke Girls

Feb 23, 2014

My first: I made dinner and dessert for my mom in honor of her birthday.

My mom turned 86 today and I have never had her over for a birthday dinner. It’s always been that all of us kids, the grandkids and the great grandkids got together to celebrate her years here on earth at some point in time around February 23^rd. This year it will be on March 9^th.

Well, today was her big day so I invited her over for a nice birthday dinner of roast beef, mashed potatoes, carrots and a “Mary” salad. I made her a layered cake to top it all off. She liked it all except the part where some roast beef got caught in her food pipe and I had to do the Heimlich maneuver on her. She’s okay. But as it was all happening, I saw headlines reading “Woman chokes to death on her birthday while eating a killer meal that her daughter prepared for her”.

Anyway, I cleaned up the mess in the kitchen and then we had birthday cake. I sang to her all by myself…what an honor to sing to my mom on her day in person as she’s ready to blow out her candles. Really! What more could I ask for on this day of days!

We then retired to the freshly-painted living room, covered up with afghans and talked about whatever came to mind. It was nice…so very nice.

My mom and I have had our differences through the years. Sometimes one or both of us make more out of stuff  than what needs to be. I’m sure that some mother-daughter relationships are really messed up and that ours is serene in comparison.

So we embraced our wholeness and appreciated that tonight we were unbroke. 

Day 53 ~ Could She Be?

Day 53 ~ Could She Be?

Feb 22, 2014

My first: I kissed a "straight" woman who has never kissed a girl and who is wondering if she could be gay.

It’s after midnight and is now the wee hours of the morning of February 22^nd. So why not? I see an opportunity for a “first” that should NOT be passed up. What a wild hair!

A new gal joined our little group of friends as we headed out for an adventurous night at St. Louis’ Naughti Gras 7. First, we went out to dinner in Central West End at the Central Table restaurant.  We ate and critiqued as people often do when experiencing a new eating establishment, right? We joked and laughed a lot among the five of us. Donna was the newcomer and she fit right in with her wit and “regular-ness”. We then trekked on to Naughti-Gras 7 to check out all those sultry pleasures. Of course, being the question kid that I am, I asked Donna if she was a lesbian. She said no or something to that effect with a “not yet” tone to her voice. My gay-dar sensed that she was gay even if she was not living the lifestyle. She is married with two children, but now seems to be "entertaining" the idea that she might be gay. And her therapist thinks this could be the case as well.

Later towards the end of the evening when the “being cordial” walls had crumbled, I asked if she had ever kissed a girl. She eventually convinced me that she had not. Hmmmm….opportunity beckons!

It’s 1 o’clock...time for everyone to leave the premises. I said good-bye to all my friends that were still there and went up to Donna for the complimentary hug. And I snuck it right in! I kissed her on the mouth…just a peck! I reared back, pointed at her and boasted “Ah, gotcha!”  She smiled with surprise and hopefully delight. I walked away looking back and enjoying her smile…

The deed was done! No longer can Donna claim that she never kissed a girl.

Day 52 ~ Naughti Gras

Day 52 ~ Naughti Gras

Feb 21, 2014

My first: I attended Naughti Gras: a sultry delight for the senses.

A friend of mine sent me a text asking me if I wanted to attend Naughti Gras 7 in St. Louis. Well, how could I say no! It was going to be a “first” for me!

I went in thinking that it was “just” an art show of paintings and photography that was a little bit on the naughty side. And, oh it was…and more!

My innocent small-town eyes saw more “sultry delights” in one night than they have seen in all of my 61 ½ years. Just the “clientele” there was enough to witness. I met two young women in the bathroom…one an elementary Special-Ed teacher, the other a real-estate agent. Both were “kinky” clad. And both were openly sharing with me that they were indeed “kinky” and that this was the venue where they could be who they are…without judgment.

Then there was pole dancing by scantily-clad women AND men and burlesque dancing in its true form. I watched a contortionist and aerial artist do things that people should really NOT be able to do…ouch!

And, the epitome of the term “last but not least”, the human flesh suspension. I watched this event for some time as specially-trained individuals prepared a woman to be suspended by pulleys, bars, cables and HOOKS pierced into her flesh. Yes, there was blood. Yes, there were winces of pain on her face. I guess she finally reached that “Zen place”. As for me, I think I’ll just meditate, take a nature walk, or even read Eat Pray Love for the fourth time. But this activity will never be on my bucket list or on my “firsts” list for 2014. Besides, my skin is way too old for this…it would snap for sure! That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it!

My recurring thought (or I might even call it a “presence”) throughout the evening was the traditionalism of my mom. I have at times been critical of my mom about how she is not and has never been very adventurous in her life. She has fixed her hair the same way for as long as I can remember. She has had the same friends for 50, 60, 70 years. She has made and still does make the same meals over and over. Her make-up consists of eyebrow pencil and blush. Pierced ears? Forget it! Wardrobe? High-water jeans, high necklines and about 3 or 4 basic colors. Need I go on? She drives me crazy! But last night, I “embraced” an amazing comfort from my “inside the box” mom. Thank God for people like my mom…thank God.

As the saying goes…“it takes all kinds to make up this world”. And I saw a “kind” last night! I guess it’s all about the balance, right? And that crazy sense of freedom they must have! I've felt it twice in my life and then I went on with my life…I've only “felt” it, you see; I've never acted on it. I STILL remember the feeling though and perhaps it helped me to understand or at least accept this, shall I say, “sexually-candid” life style.

And my last thought (whooh!) as I watched these young Gothic people “at work” is…what will they be like, what will they be doing, and who will they BE when they are 60, 70, 80? Because we know…youth is gone in a wink! And is it “wasted on the young”? 

Day 51 ~ A Mom Moment

Day 51 ~ A Mom Moment

Feb 20, 2014

My first: I connected with a mother sending her little girls off to school.

Is a spontaneous “first” legitimate as a “first”? Well, this one is! I can’t NOT consider it as such because of how it moved me.

I was on my way to work and driving past the elementary school, Roosevelt. I spotted this young and beautiful African American mom walking her two little girls to the street corner and then watching as they crossed. She waved to them enthusiastically and starting blowing them kisses one right after the other. My smile at what I witnessed could not be contained. I could feel it lighting up my whole being.  She saw that I noticed her and then, in that wonderful moment, I saw my smile returned to me on her face. We gazed and smiled for moments and then went on our way. I was in tears, remembering those long ago days of being a young mom and the precious moments of loving my children.  

The “firsts” that I have posted have been funny, sad, educational (for me), scary, etc. But this one moved me beyond any other thus far. I guess the “mom” in me never goes away.

Day 50 ~ One-on-One

Day 50 ~ One-on-One

Feb 19, 2014

My first: I played one-on-one basketball with my grandson, Tyler.

What a way to celebrate my 50^th “first”! Tyler is my special one! We’ve been through a lot together. When I was 50 years old, Tyler entered my life and became my light.

Tyler and I have played basketball many times, but it has always been the game of “Donkey”. You know…making a shot and then the other person has to make it or else they get a letter. Whoever gets d-o-n-k-e-y first loses. Well, Tyler played basketball on his 5^th grade team this year so now he is getting more serious about. He suggested playing one-on-one. Even with all my cracked fingers from the winter’s cold and dryness, I said YES! And, guess what! He is better than I am! And “competitive me” has no problem with this. I’m sure we will be doing more of one-on-one as long as grandma can hold out.

We finished the night with my giving him a haircut, eating ice cream while watching a movie, and having him as my first overnight guest in my new master suite. As the song goes…oh what a night!

Day 49 ~ Sleeping “Newd”

Day 49 ~ Sleeping “Newd”

Feb 18, 2014

My first: I spent my first night in my newly-renovated master suite and decided to sleep in the “newd” to symbolize the newness of my surroundings.

I had spent most of the day moving furniture, cleaning, hanging stuff on walls, putting clothes away, etc. This was going to be the night I sleep in my brand new master suite. I was feeling pretty good about all the work and all the beautiful results. I love it. Every time I walk into my bedroom I feel like Dorothy opening the door of her old Kansas house and entering the Land of Oz.  As my brother said years ago when my dad was paneling our basement “I don’t believe this is happening”. Hey, that was a big deal to us kids. And I’m still that kid inside sometimes.

This change in my home has definitely been the biggest “first” of the year…so far. What amazes me is that this space in my home is still the same space; but with the “makeover”, it has become something so totally different and enjoyable. I choose to liken it to me and my life. I am doing a makeover on my life and the results are so different and enjoyable. Some are small and some are big; some are bad and some are good…but all are adding up to a sum total of living life and not wading through it.

Day 48 ~ ‘Confi-dents”

Day 48 ~ ‘Confi-dents” 

Feb 17, 2014

My first: I asked a bisexual woman out to dinner for a non-date.

Seriously? Yes, I did! Does it sound lame? To you, probably. To me, Miss No Confidence when it comes to asking anyone to do anything, not lame at all. My “confi-dents” is all banged up.

It was late in the day and it was time to get my “first” underway. I had been thinking about my idea most of the day and finally said to myself “do it”! I facebook messaged her because that is the only way I can get a hold of her…another “lame” I know. It went like this: “I need to do my first for today!  How about if I ask a bisexual woman out to dinner on a non-date?! (That be you!) The glory of this is that you don’t even have to say yes!” Yep, that is what I messaged. Lame number 3!  

She was quite gracious with her response and quite “vague”. You reap what you sow.  The history behind this is that I had met her at a couple of parties and she was pretty cool and was soon to be a grandma…our common ground. I guess that is as common as it will get. She is a very nice and intriguing gal and I would have enjoyed her company and conversation.

Anyway, I’ve had this whole day to think about my “riveting” post that is now here at my fingertips.  And I’ve come to one conclusion. We all want something that excites us. Excite means to arouse or stir up the emotions or feelings of. If you aren’t exciting, you will not excite. If you ARE exciting and the other person is not open to that for whatever reason, you will not excite. In other words, there has to be that unexplainable current between the two people, whether it’s friends or lovers.

So I will take my battered ego and tuck it away and wait go for that moment.

Day 47 ~ Counter Encounter

Day 47 ~ Counter Encounter 

Feb 16, 2014

My first: I talked with two foreigners (India) in line at Wal-Mart.

I was in line at Wal-Mart after a long evening of shopping at three different stores for those "final touch" things for my master suite renovation. And this was after a day of painting, cleaning, and moving furniture.

As usual while in line, I was checking out magazines. I was in the process of taking a photo of the cover of one of them and texting it to a friend. When I turned around, a couple got ahead of me in line. I didn’t say anything and just attributed it to my inattentiveness to moving as the line moved. Very noticeably, the couple was not “from these here parts”. I decided at this point to do my “first” for the day and make conversation with them. I asked the man where they were from and he said India. A moment passed and I asked how long they have been here. He said 5 years. And, me being me, I asked if they liked it here. He said yes. I contributed some information (he wasn’t waiting with bated breath) from my end and said that I liked it here too although I had never been to India. His wife was keeping her distance as I asked him if she spoke English. He said yes. This was getting nowhere fast. As I was pondering up my next question, they stepped away and went to another line. I’m guessing they left because this line was moving way to slow due to a “coupon lady” ahead and a less-than-ambitious cashier.  It COULDN’T have been me and my interrogation, right?

Feeling that I still had what it took to be friendly to strangers, I noticed the young man ahead in line playing a game on his phone. I went up to him looking over his shoulder asking him about the game. He told me the name…Clash of the Clans. Then, amazingly enough, he put the phone away and opened himself up to converse with me. I told him how tired I was and he said that he was too. He had just gotten done working out. I said good for him. We talked about the amount of money we were spending for what we were getting and innocent pieces of ourselves. He was very open to sharing. I leaned over and confided that he was much friendlier than that couple from India. As we parted we both admitted it was nice talking and wished each other luck…him with his working out and me with my room renovation.

I proceeded to talk with the cashier and briefly looked back at the young man as he walked away. Most likely, I will never see him again. But what a light to my day he was…as I hope I was to his. 

As far as the couple from India…they missed out. 

Day 46 ~ Skid Row

Day 46 ~ Skid Row

Feb 15, 2014

My first: I did “donuts” with my car on an icy country lane.

I was coming home from my son’s house on a country road called Roachtown Road. I had every intention of finding a field to perform “donuts” with my car...something I had never done before…intentionally. Most of us have had the unfortunate experience of our cars skidding out of our control on a wintry or rainy day. Not fun!

On the other hand, when you’re goal is to spin out, it’s a blast! I found this country lane and decided that this was the venue for my “first” adventure of the day. I made the left turn and went a piece ways up the lane. I turned my car around (not necessarily a 3-point turn) so I could make a quick getaway if I had to.  I then started swerving my car left and right. Just call me Starsky or Hutch! But you can put the coffee away because there was no actual donut “swerved” that night. I was a little apprehensive because the lane was too narrow for me to do a total 360 without the possibility of going into the field. I was fearful (there’s that F-word) of getting stuck on the sides of the lane. My 15 year old Honda CRV is great in the winter weather, but my mind was “stuck” with visions of me being stranded on that country lane at night in the freezing cold. Or worse yet, being arrested or shot at for trespassing. After all, I was being “bad”! How does that OneRepublic song go? “Everything that kills me makes me feel alive”. I felt alive and a bit like a teenager…for those 15 minutes.

And on my drive home, I was flying high with a smile on my face. It was my very own “Saturday Night Live”. 

Day 45 ~ No Phone and Alone

Day 45 ~ No Phone and Alone

Feb 14, 2014

My first: I was home alone on Valentine’s Day.

Valentine’s Day! A day that we declare our love…if we have it in our lives. Well, most of us do, right? If not with our parents, siblings, children, and friends, with our “current” significant other. I am no different. I got the chance to watch two of my grandchildren in the afternoon and had a great and loving time. After that I went to see my mom for a while and “declare” my love to her!

Then at 7:00 I went home…alone. I had had plans to have dinner and perhaps go see a movie with my friend Kelly. She called me late in the afternoon saying that her “estranged” friend Laura asked her to go to dinner with her and a friend. I could tell that this is what she really wanted to do. Kelly asked if I had any special plans in mind and I said “no, that I just thought we would do dinner and a movie”. I immediately told her it was okay. I knew that she wanted to repair her friendship with Laura. What was I GOING to do? Have a fit and say “no, we made plans”! That is not me. I don’t push myself on anyone…my famous quote. Okay, maybe not so famous, but still mine.

Anyway, I spent Valentine’s Day at home alone. I did some cleaning up in my house after all the construction and carpet installation. I also continued with the painting in my living room. Doing all this stuff is NOT a “first” and, of course, being alone is not a “first”. But being alone on Valentine’s Day is a “first” or at least I think it is. I have done many things alone: going on vacation alone, going to a movie alone, going on a date alone, going into a bar alone, drinking alone (not a good thing), doing Karaoke alone (see Day 39), sledding alone (see Day 43), and living alone. So this day was no big deal, as far as being alone. I was somewhat peeved with Kelly for doing what she did, but I have to let that go. Something good will come of it. If nothing else, I got stuff done at home!

And now it’s the day after, and I’m alone. And to make things worse (or better), I have no phone (I forgot and left it at my son’s house). Maybe right here are the makings for a new country song…No Phone and Alone.

Day 44 ~ Who Needs It!

Day 44 ~ Who Needs It!

Feb 13, 2014

My first: I declared a no caffeine, no sugar and no starch day today.

I decided to have a day with no boost enhancers. I had no coffee in the morning…I am out of it anyway. I had 4 eggs for breakfast and my usual “greens” drink from “It Works”.

For lunch I had a can of cold peas and a few spoons full of creamy peanut butter. I am really not an ingredients label reader and not so much curious about what is in stuff…until today. After I “indulged”, I read the label from the can of peas and the jar of peanut butter…SUGAR! Seriously! How much? I failed my challenge of no sugar by eating a can of cold peas and some off-brand peanut butter. Really?

Okay, now I’m getting down and dirty. I went to the store and got some “pure” ground beef and some healthy raw asparagus. And, of course, coffee for tomorrow! I browned the beef and steamed the asparagus. I mixed them together and then threw some no-sugar-added feta cheese on top for kicks. Not bad. I chased it all down with a bottle of water and now I’m good to go for the evening. Ready to paint my living room!

Earlier today my client noticed that I was a little draggy without my coffee. She is an avid coffee drinker so she has an eye for such things.  I didn't have any withdrawal symptoms though…so maybe I should try this for a WHOLE week…or not.

Day 43 ~ Hee-Haw

Day 43 ~ Hee-Haw

Feb 12, 2014

My first: I sledded down my backyard slope on a shovel, just like in It's a Wonderful Life.

In the beginning of the movie It's a Wonderful Life, there was a scene where George Bailey, his brother Harry and some friends were sledding on shovels. They were always yelling “Hee-Haw” with their hands by their ears looking like a donkey.  Then it happened…Harry crashed into the icy water and George had to jump save him. Well, none of that happened in my backyard...but still a memorable time!

Anyway, I thought if shovels are good enough for them to sled on, they're good enough for me.

I got my shovel and my camera and tripod ready and out the door I went. I sauntered over to my usual spot for sledding…my own backyard. I tried it the first few times and it wasn't going too well. My legs kept getting in the way. Of course, I wasn't going to give up! I went down many times, perfecting the process each time and manning the camera to take the photos with the timer.

There were two setbacks: one was that the snow kept coming up under the back of my shirt and the other was that my hands were freezing! I didn't have the right kind of gloves on for sledding.  That was enough…my hands were nearly frost bitten by the time I got inside and they are cracked, swollen and numb enough to have to endure anymore abuse.

I spoke with Tyler my grandson later tonight and said that we will have to do this little activity together some time. I’ll show him the YouTube video from the movie (I viewed it myself tonight) before we head outside.

If my neighbors are paying any attention at all, they must be quite entertained at times with my antics since I started my year of “firsts” in 2014.  

This was a good one because anything that takes me back to being like a kid, I’m all over it. Sweet times of simple fun and innocence…

Day 42 ~ That "Ah" Moment

Day 42 ~ That "Ah" Moment

Feb 11, 2014

My first: I ordered Chinese and had it delivered to my house for the first time.

I was at home all day doing the finishing touches on my master suite renovation before carpet installation tomorrow. And, as usual, I was thinking about something to do as my “first”. I needed something that was feasible for me to do with all that I have going on with this room. As it got closer to evening and the hunger pangs made themselves known, I decided to order Chinese and have it delivered! I would eat it in my “new bedroom” as my last meal before the final transformation with the installation of the carpet.

While I ate, I was on the phone with Maureen, my old roommate. She could relate to my “celebration”. We chatted while I enjoyed my well-deserved feast. It’s been a long 5 weeks…a lot of hours spent on a dream. But it will be worth it; there is not one breath of doubt!

I've eaten Chinese before and I've eaten food delivered to my home before. But I have never had Chinese delivered!  And Chinese is something I have to be in the mood for. So, go figure, I was in the mood for it tonight…just a little chicken fried rice with broccoli and crab rangoon.  

This was a big day for me after many long days? Why not have that "Ah" moment just for me?  

Day 41 ~ Moonshine

Day 41 ~ Moonshine 

Feb 10, 2014

My first: I coated my butt with green paint and "mooned" my wall.

Today was filled with work and now I have to think of and do a “first”! What are my options when I have so much work to do at home to get my master bedroom ready for carpet to be installed in two days? It’s been challenging for me coming up with “firsts” due to my limited time and the winter weather. And blogging about each “first” takes a good amount of thought and time. But I will not regret the time spent at the end of the year and I don’t regret it now.

Anyway, I decided to take the paint roller and paint my butt with green paint. Then I proceeded to press my rear end against my wall to "make my mark". I started off with a pretty good mark. I rolled again and did two more!

Then came the task (and I do mean task) of getting the paint off. I had to rub and rub until my rear went from green to red.  As I was doing this, I felt so silly about this “first”. I should be busy painting and not “mooning” my wall and then having to clean up. Oh, and of course, let’s not forget the time to do the photo shoot!

I continued with my evening of painting and finally finished the wall I was repainting from tan to green. When I got to the part of covering up my marks, I hesitated. I thought about these last 41 days of 2014 and all the different things I've done and blogged about and, of course, of what was to come. It was kind of a sentimental moment. I was tempted to leave one of the marks uncovered as a reminder to me of my year of “firsts”. But these photos will be my memory…

Day 40 ~ Painted Lady

Day 40 ~ Painted Lady

Feb 9, 2014

My first: I painted in the nude.

This evening I was painting the trim and doors in my newly renovated master bedroom. When I got to the door that enters the room, I spiced things up a bit. I got my camera set up in the hall and got undressed. It was time for my “first” of the day and I had never painted in the nude! Can ya believe it? Having this Aversion to Nudity Syndrome is a cross to bear and my year of “firsts” is a good time to perhaps chisel away at it a bit.

Painting the door entering into my bedroom was safe enough because there were no windows in the hall…just in case there were peeping Toms around the neighborhood. But I think the freezing cold weather would hinder that kind of activity anyway.

As I was painting the door, I was actually concentrating on the task at hand and had to remind myself that I was naked. Then I started imagining that there might be ghosts in my house watching this spectacle. And then, of course, I imagined someone walking in on me, but after all it was 10:30 at night and all my doors were locked!

But then it was picture time! That is when things got interesting. And soon it was time to delete, delete, delete.  That’s all you need to know…

Day 39 ~ Solo and Sober

Day 39 ~ Solo and Sober

Feb 8, 2014

My first: I sang karaoke all by myself, solo and sober.

I went to a trivia night with some friends and had a great time. I told them that afterwards I was planning to go to the neighborhood bar and sing karaoke by myself because I had never done that before. I always sang with a partner and always after having a few/many drinks. Tonight it was going to be solo and sober. They, of course, decided to join me and witness my “first”.

My usual song of choice is Rose Garden by Lynn Anderson.  My friend, Cami, suggested that I sing another song that I like, Only Girl in the World by Rihanna. I was game for anything at this point and asked the DJ if he had this one. He checked and said unfortunately no. Oh well, I guess two firsts are enough for one night…karaoke all by myself and with no alcohol.

I was thinking about what I was about to do, but didn't really have that “butterflies in the stomach” feeling. I had done some performing in the past with my comical “bag lady” and “frustrated stripper” gigs back in 2003. Heck, I am a seasoned performer…but this time without the guise of make-up and costumes.

My turn was up and my friends were ready with phone cameras in hand. I was the star! Well, let’s just say I was the one with the mic in hand.  I sang the song that I had sung many times, but always with a friend, a sister, or whoever was willing to go up there with me. As I was singing, I noticed that so many people in the bar were not even paying attention. Well, let’s face it… I am not Celine Dion on stage! But this meant so much to me! They did not know my story or understand my journey. Ok, Mary, don’t take it personally. This is about me rejuvenating and living my life…not about them and their attention spans. After all, they were all probably pretty much drunk and unaware of their rudeness.

My friends (old and new) were the BONUS. They were all SO supportive about my doing this tonight and also about my whole year of doing “firsts”! Thank you to Kelly, Mel and Cami, Sue and Leann, Christy and Laura, Rick and Harold and Tina. They were the amazing ones. So, yes, I sang solo tonight…but I was not alone.  

Day 38 ~ I Kissed a Girl

Day 38 

Feb 7, 2014

My first: I kissed a dog on the mouth.  

Okay, here the deal. I admit that I am not an animal lover. Now, I don’t hate them and I definitely don’t abuse them. I just do not connect with them…not a bad thing…just a thing. I have actually met people like me, just not that many in the lesbian community…if you know what I mean.

Well, I was at this house party and the "dog of the house", Sophie, was just very sweet and lovable. She sat by me on the couch and we “bonded”, as it were. My friend Kelly knows that I am not so much the dog lover and could not believe that I was “having a relationship” with Sophie.

Anyway, it was getting late and I had to come up with a "first" for the day, so I decided to “lay one” on Sophie, right on the mouth. And (for the record) this was NOT after she licked herself! But if there was ever an animal that I was going to kiss, it would have to be one like Sophie. Such a sweetheart! This was a “first” for me and, of course, a “last”. But the memory will be forever…

Day 37 ~ Last Chance, Mom

Day 37

Feb 6, 2014

My first: I wrote a letter to my mom about what happened on February 3^rd when she declined my offer to take her to the show (for the first time ever).

I decided to write a letter to my mom explaining ME to her and letting her know how I see her in this life of hers. It was just a matter of 3 pages to say that I am spontaneous and she likes her life planned out and under her control. I said that the rest of her life is not going to be like the last 60 some years were. I said that she can make this her last hurrah and to not miss “what can happen”.

I said that I want nothing more than to be close to my mom, but it can be very difficult sometimes. I wish so bad that she could “go there”. You know, express yourself and allow things to happen.

I spoke about the analogy that life is like a buffet: you don’t have to taste a thing in front of you, or you can only try the things that you’ve had before, or you can have it ALL.

Lastly, I said, “So whatever happens next between you and me…it’s ok. But I hope it will be a journey that we both can grow from…and grow together.” I apologized for my penmanship because my fingers are all cracked and my hands are numb. Of course, the handwriting would probably be bad without those ailments.

Day 36 ~ In the Doghouse

Day 36

Feb 5, 2014

My first: I shoveled snow from my client's driveway after I left without their knowing and I climbed into a portable dog kennel with two of my grand kids.

When I left my client after cleaning their house today, I decided to shovel the snow off their driveway. They had no idea that I was going to do it. The husband Glenn has a very bad heart and the wife Barbara has arthritis. I had shoveled a path for me to walk up to the house and when I went inside I offered to do the rest of the driveway. Glenn said that I didn’t have to do that. I went about my business and as usual was thinking about what I was going to do today for my “first”. Eventually, I thought “I’ll shovel their driveway when I leave!”  It goes without saying that I should have done this regardless. I know, I know. No one likes the word “should”. Let’s just say this was a very voluntary “should”. It makes one a better person, if only for the 15 minutes that you’re doing it.  After all, I have a healthy body and they do not. It’s just a matter of sharing my blessing!

Also, I watched my grand kids tonight while my son and daughter-in-law went out to eat. Abbey, Andy and I were having a lot of fun playing downstairs, hiding in the closet, and just doing whatever we could find that looked like fun. They had a portable dog kennel that their other grandma brought over to play with. Well, the three of us decided that we could ALL fit into the kennel. Needless to say it was easier for them to get in than it was for me!  They loved it! The moral of my story? As long as I can, it’s part of my plan!

Day 35 ~ Cold Feet

Day 35

Feb 4, 2014

My first: I stepped into the snow with my bare feet.

I decided to take advantage of yet another snowfall this winter. We've had about 5 inches from what I can tell so far. Of course, I had plenty to do again this evening, but had to fit in my “first” for the day. Well, why not put my bare feet into the snow? My feet have never touched snow like they did tonight. I may have gotten a little snow in my boots once in a while when I was sledding, but that is nothing like this! It was so cold! I felt like I would get frost bite even before I had a chance to take my photos!

I learned a few things tonight. I appreciate my shoes and socks and the warmth of my home. And, no, I do not believe that I will get sick for going barefoot in the snow, Mom!

And as far as having had cold feet in the figurative sense…guilty!

Day 34 ~ Ask and You Shall NOT Receive

Day 34

Feb 3, 2014

My first: I asked my mom to go to see a movie with me tonight.

As I was driving home from work in Mascoutah, I decided to call my mom and ask her to go to a movie with me tonight as my “first” for today. My friend Steve recommended a movie to me this morning that he had seen over the weekend, Saving Mr. Banks.

Anyway, I asked her to go see a movie and she immediately said no. Her hair was not suitable to go out and she was in her jammies. She didn't even ask what movie I was thinking of taking her to. I tried to talk her into going by saying I would do her hair and also by trying to make her feel guilty in every way I could think of…I've had good training, after all.

I was filled with such a feeling of rejection because she did not for one second consider changing her mind and “blowing off” the hair excuse. Her daughter was asking her to do something that they had never done before; she is totally capable; and the evening was fine for travel. Why couldn’t she give in just this once? You know…just go with it. Really? Why should she change now? She has never been a “fly by the seat of your pants” kind of gal…always resided on the safe side. But it was just a movie! I did NOT get it.

After realizing that she was definitely not going to change her mind, I knew that going to a movie with my mom was not going to be my “first” for the day. But then I thought that…with all the thoughts and feelings I was having because of this rejection, I knew that I could NOT pass this up as my “first” and that I had to share it all in my blog. So what if my plan did not pan out.

Throughout the rest of the evening, my introspection led me to believe that this was not about me. This was about my mom. I cannot change her and what she does. I will not let her rejection swallow me. The next time I ask her, maybe her hair will be okay and she will say yes. Maybe I will give her a little more notice and she will say yes. Maybe the stars will be aligned and she will say yes. Maybe…

And by the way, I was going to go see Saving Mr. Banks alone, but I could not find it playing anywhere at local theaters…go figure…

P.S. Last week my daughter asked me to go to Chicago with her. She was going up there on business and asked me to ride up with her. She said that we could have time together driving up and also each evening when she finished with work. I said no. I had so much going on with my renovation and had jobs lined up on the days that she was planning to be up there. I let her know today that the next time she goes to Chicago, I want to go with her. If at all possible, I will make it happen. I will not be “like mother, like daughter”.

Day 33 ~ Grade School Reunion

Day 33

Feb 2, 2014

My first: Tonight at a local bar and grill, I spoke to a man with whom I went to grade school.

Tonight I went to my neighborhood bar, grill and movie theater, The Edge, with my friend, Kelly, for a quick bite and to watch the Super Bowl game for a little while. I excused myself from the table after I ordered and took a stroll to the other side of the bar to see if there was anyone there I could talk to and possibly create my “first” for the day. I immediately recognized a man with whom I went to grade school, Steve Schneider. I went up to him and said his name and he actually recognized me and knew my name. He introduced me to his wife and then we talked about various things that people talk about when they have not talked for almost 50 years, right?!

He asked me if I cared who won the Super Bowl game and I said “no”. I explained my philosophy about people watching sports because they needed something to get excited about because there was nothing to get excited about in their own life. A gentleman at their table interjected “And there go “Deep Thoughts, by Jack Handey”. We laughed about that. I guess I have yet another new nick name ~ Jack Handey!

I knew that Steve liked acting because I saw him in several high school plays and I saw him years later in an adult production somewhere. I told him of my “vast” experience with acting, directing, and producing (my kids’ Christmas plays). I expressed an interest in “getting my feet wet” again in some amateur theaters in the area. I mentioned a mutual acquaintance, Liz Murphy, and he said that she would be a great point of contact to get my acting career off the ground.  

The old me that did NOT do “firsts” would not have gone over to my old grade school mate, Steve. I would have spotted him and then turned around and walked away. Instead, I saw, I went over and I experienced a re-connection. Essentially, I decided to participate in life instead of watching “from the side lines”. 

And as a side note, the "acting" thing keeps resurfacing...I think I'm on to something!

Day ~ 32 Craig Patrol

Day 32

Feb 1, 2014

My first: I sold my first item on Craig’s List and asked for body guard help. 

On day 9, I posted 4 items on Craig’s List for the first time. One of these items was a tan recliner. I finally made a sale! A man contacted me about his interest in the recliner. He gave me his number and I called him to see if today would be a good day for him to take a look at it and decide if he wanted to purchase it. When I talked to him, he sounded so interesting and wholesome. Not that I am a racist, but something told me he was African American or black, whichever way you want to call it nowadays. And he is a man too. And he would be coming in a van too. And Ted Bundy was a “nice guy” too. Need I say more? Time to call in the troops!

Well, you know I have this little “tough guy” syndrome going on, so asking for a “body guard” to be present was NOT my “MO”. But I decided to make a big girl move and ask my son-in-law Ross to come over to be with me when my Craig buyer (Mike) came over. Ross’ boss (Carl) came over too…a real nice guy and totally conversational and interesting.

Mike arrived with his friend Eddy in a white van. Both gentlemen were very nice and good-humored. I introduced everyone and then showed them the recliner. Mike tried it on for size and definitely wanted to purchase it. Between the two of them, they had $54…not the $75 I had posted. Eddy told Mike that he should have stopped at an ATM on the way. Anyway, they left to get more money. While they were gone, Carl told me that he believed that it was a ploy on their part to get the recliner at a lower price. Why not have the “asking price” on hand when they arrived? I was a little naive and did not even think this…but I am usually more trusting than what some people deserve.

Mike and Eddy came back and we completed the purchase for the full $75. Ross and Carl carried it to the van and all was right with the world. The house next door is for sale and Mike joked that I would not want him living next to me. I told him to not be a racist! He said it wasn't about that, but about the impromptu rapport that he and I had created in this first meeting!

The whole interaction was a “first” for me, no doubt. I had 4 men in my home and only knew one of them! I was being myself and enjoying the “company” of all of them. As I reflect on the whole event, I can only wonder what would have happened without my “Craig patrol”…