Day 34
Feb 3,
2014
My first:
I asked my mom to go to see a movie with me tonight.
As I was driving home from work in
Mascoutah, I decided to call my mom and ask her to go to a movie with me
tonight as my “first” for today. My friend Steve recommended a movie to me this
morning that he had seen over the weekend, Saving Mr. Banks.
Anyway, I asked her to go see a
movie and she immediately said no. Her hair was not suitable to go out and she
was in her jammies. She didn't even ask what movie I was thinking of taking her
to. I tried to talk her into going by saying I would do her hair and also by
trying to make her feel guilty in every way I could think of…I've had good
training, after all.
I was filled with such a feeling of
rejection because she did not for one
second consider changing her mind and “blowing off” the hair excuse. Her
daughter was asking her to do something that they had never done before; she is
totally capable; and the evening was fine for travel. Why couldn’t she give in
just this once? You know…just go with it. Really? Why should she change now?
She has never been a “fly by the seat of your pants” kind of gal…always resided
on the safe side. But it was just a movie! I did NOT get it.
After realizing that she was definitely
not going to change her mind, I knew that going to a movie with my mom was not
going to be my “first” for the day. But then I thought that…with all the
thoughts and feelings I was having because of this rejection, I knew that I
could NOT pass this up as my “first” and that I had to share it all in my blog.
So what if my plan did not pan out.
Throughout the rest of the evening,
my introspection led me to believe that this was not about me. This was about my
mom. I cannot change her and what she does. I will not let her rejection
swallow me. The next time I ask her, maybe her hair will be okay and she will
say yes. Maybe I will give her a little more notice and she will say yes. Maybe
the stars will be aligned and she will say yes. Maybe…
And by the way, I was going to go
see Saving Mr. Banks alone, but I could not find it playing anywhere at
local theaters…go figure…
P.S. Last week my daughter asked me
to go to Chicago with her. She was going up there on business and asked me to
ride up with her. She said that we could have time together driving up and also each evening when she finished with work. I said no. I had so much going on
with my renovation and had jobs lined up on the days that she was planning to
be up there. I let her know today that the next time she goes to Chicago, I
want to go with her. If at all possible, I will make it happen. I will not be “like
mother, like daughter”.
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