Day 361 ~ Holiday Chaser

December 27, 2014

My Instead: After no communication during the holidays, I finally contacted my friend Kelly.

The Christmas holidays had come and gone…it was the lull after the storm. December is a wonderful, but crammed month with preparation and parties. It often feels like a different world when it’s all over and the reality of everyday life settles in again. I think “Oh yea, this looks familiar.” And then I pick up my life where I left off.

On this Saturday night, I was driving in the rain on my way to Farmington to see my girlfriend Annette. I thought to myself that I had not talked to my friend Kelly at all during the holidays. Our friendship seems to be on shaky ground, more often than not, since we became friends 3 ½ years ago. Last year she was at my little Christmas and in 2011 she was with me at my mom’s Christmas. But the little blips in our friendship seem to greet us every three to four months and last about just as long. What’s up with that? Wanting to keep us on the path of possibly maintaining a lasting relationship until the bitter end (well, I hope it’s not bitter), I called her. She answered and said, “So, you’re too much in love to think of me!?” I immediately said, “Hey, you haven’t called ME either! What are YOU in?” She said “nothing” and then changed it to “hate”. I quickly negated her comment and asked her how her holidays were. She was at Target at the time of my call and said she would call back in a few.

Later when Kelly and I talked again, things were a bit calmer and we talked like friends should when they’re working to maintain healthy communication. We talked about what’s going on in each of our lives and our hopes for the future. Honesty prevailed…that always seems to be the magic ingredient!

Day 360 ~ In Front of God and No One

December 26, 2014

My Instead: I went for a walk with my girlfriend at Moody Park in Fairview Heights, Illinois, stood on a rock pile, and kissed in broad daylight.

After a fun-filled Christmas celebration at my mom’s house the night before, Annette and I were taking it easy the next morning. We warmed up to each other with coffee and a nice breakfast prepared by none-other-than my girlfriend Annette. After all the holiday hoopla, I did have to busy myself writing a blog to catch up. The end of my “instead” year was fast approaching and I wasn’t about to stop now!

It was a beautiful, warm and sunny day with temps in the mid-fifties. Time to hit the trail…the walking trail in Everett Moody Park in Fairview Heights, that is. This particular park has a lake where we could feed the ducks and geese. But, of course, we forgot the bread. Oh well, they would just have to love us for us!

As we walked the picturesque path, dodging the foul droppings, we chatted about our first Christmas and how wonderful it was. We always laugh at each of our antics, whoever’s the one creating them at the moment. This time it was me. I saw a rock pile…and have rock pile, will climb. My grandchildren know this, because we have all done some “mountain” climbing this year. This small rock pile, however, did not provide us with much of a challenge, but it did enhance our view of the park a little bit…at least for me. Annette is 6-foot tall and usually already has a pinnacle view of her surroundings.

While standing “on top of the world”, I noticed that no one was around. Perfect! In front of God and, well, no one, we shared a kiss. We couldn't deny ourselves this moment to cherish. Could you?

Our pinnacle kiss

Trail blazers

Beautiful December 26th!

Day 359 ~ Didn’t You Say Pajama Party?

December 25, 2014

My Instead: I wore my footie pajamas and a Santa hat to my son's house for Christmas morning.

My son Kyle is really getting more into the Christmas spirit here lately. Because of this phenomenon, he and his wife Shaundra decided to invite any available family members to spend Christmas morning with their young family. Reminded that this was just going to be an informal gathering, I immediately conjured up the notion that I would arrive wearing my footie “sock monkey” pajamas that my daughter got me last year for Christmas.

When they opened the front door and found me in my attire plus a Santa hat, I can honestly say they did not seem too surprised. After all, I did arrive in my bag lady get-up on Halloween just a few months earlier. Don’t put anything past Mom, especially in this year of “insteads”!

As other people got there (not in their pajamas), they didn’t seemed too shocked either at Grandma Sock Monkey. The memo was out…Mary is a buffoon…in a good way.

Christmas morning continued with food, conversation, play, and picture taking. Kyle made sure that Christmas music was playing in the background. Is this my son? He used to complain about my playing that seasonal “noise” incessantly during the holidays. No complaints from me though…I loved his transformation! I guess I’m not the only one changing!

My daughter-in-law Shaundra and I

Pseudo stepdaughter, Jaime and I

Phyllis, my "successor", I, Shaundra with Jaime & her sister Kelly

Me and the kids, of course!

Day 358 ~ Ambient Abandon

December 24, 2014

My Instead: I went to my girlfriend's house an hour and a half away in Farmington, Missouri to spend Christmas Eve with her.

I have NEVER been out of town on Christmas Eve. Whether I have a family gathering to go to or not, I have never been away from the ambiance of my home. I've been out to dinner or have had people over for the evening, but I have never traveled more than 10 miles anywhere on this special night. But tonight, my girlfriend Annette was in Farmington, Missouri because she had to work Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Originally, I thought I had to help my mom peel potatoes for her famous potato salad, but we did that the day before. As it worked out, I was able to leave Belleville on Christmas Eve.

Annette was thrilled that I would be traveling her way to spend the evening with her for our first Christmas Eve together. She invited her/our friend Mary over for dinner. Mary lived close by and was alone for the holiday. We enjoyed a nice dinner and conversation with one another until Mary left to go to her home just around the corner and up the hill. Annette and I cleaned up the dinner dishes and settled into her Christmassy living room, surrounded by our gifts to each other. With Christmas songs playing in the background, we opened present after present. We talked and laughed and were both grateful for having found each other and our love…a blessed Christmas Eve and well worth abandoning my home for the evening.  

Day 357 ~ Twilight Tour

December 23, 2014

My Instead: I drove my son's side-by-side buggy around the neighborhood.

It was my Tuesday to watch my grandson Andy, but today I also had my granddaughter, Abbey while she was on Christmas vacation from school. Not caring what we decided to do together, I asked them what they felt like doing…Chuck E Cheese was the resounding answer. After jumping my car’s battery in their driveway (I had left my headlights on) and stopping by my mom’s for a bit, we were on way to Fairview Heights to visit their favorite mouse’s hangout.

Once we got our wrists stamped to insure the establishment that I would be leaving with the same kids I brought, Abbey was off and running with her little container of tokens leftover from her last visit. She was a pro at what to do and what she liked. Of course, I had to contribute some more tokens when she ran out of the ones she brought. I also provided the pizza when she and Andy ran out of steam and needed to refuel. We had a blast playing games, navigating the tubular maze and slide, gathering tickets, and watching Chuck E and his friends perform on stage.

After several hours, our time and my money had run out. My daughter-in-law Shaundra was on her way home from work so I said I would take the kids back to their house, reminding her of my intended “instead” to drive their side-by-side buggy. I had wanted to do this ever since they got it earlier this year. And after all, it was the perfect “Christmas Eve Eve” evening to do this!

Christmas Eve Eve Sunset

Maneuvering the buggy out of their garage was the hardest part, but Shaundra and I managed. We got the kids covered up in the “Andy Blanket” and were on our way down their driveway and off to the neighboring subdivision. The evening was warm for December and an amazing sunset was being created right before our eyes. Christmas lights were turning on one by one to add just the right touch to this PERFECT yuletide tour. And to add to our further amazement, we spotted a rainbow for which Abbey wanted to follow and find its inevitable pot of gold. But our treasure was right there in that buggy on that magical evening.

Chuck E Cheese Photo Print-Out

Carousel Fun

Totally Tubular! 

Cuddle Up!

Ready to Ride

Sunset in the making

In the driver's seat

Sunset's effect in the East

See the rainbow?

Day 356 ~ Indoor Nature Fix

December 22, 2014

My Instead: I gave a framed photo of a nature scene to my less-than-happy client for a Christmas present.

I have a widower client for whom I’ve been cleaning since March. From what I’m told by him and my aunt who lives across the street, he had a wonderful wife. She is gone now and he is alone, sad and a bit angry. The last time I worked for him, he made it perfectly clear that he’s never been into Christmas…ever. I was somewhat surprised, hoping that he had just become this way since his wife’s passing in July of 2013. It was difficult for me to imagine someone NEVER being into Christmas!

When I arrived at his house, I handed him his Christmas from me as he sat in his chair. He asked “What’s this?” I told him it’s a little something for him for Christmas. As he removed the wrapping, I commented that I hoped this photo could be his “nature fix” when he couldn't make it to his property by the Kaskaskia River. He looked at the photo and admired it. He uttered his quiet “thank you” and started reminiscing about his land. I knew he missed it when he couldn't get out there to walk his Doberman and enjoy the fresh air on a regular basis.

I sat and talked with him a while about a job that he wants me to do regarding painting his living room. I offered my advice about the color and perhaps selecting his new couch before he chooses a paint color. If he needed anymore help, I offered to go with him to make his selection. After our little chat, I did my usual chores in his home.

When I finally finished my duties, he paid me with a little bit extra for my Christmas gift which I did not expect from him. I was grateful and gave him a hug to wish him a wonderful holiday. We talked a little bit more (longer than usual) about his estrangement with his only child and his holiday plans. Then I left him alone with his dog Torri. As I drove away, I thought about the emptiness in his life and hoped that in a small way I had filled a tiny corner of his world.

Day 355 ~ Simple Wonder

December 21, 2014

My Instead: My girlfriend Annette and I took a walk in my neighborhood to see the Christmas lights with two of my grand kids, Abbey and Andy.

Time to babysit again! My son and daughter-in-law had some final gift wrapping to do without little eyes running around, so I said yes to my son’s request to watch his daughter and son. Kyle and Shaundra brought the kids to my house in the late afternoon and then we got busy. Abbey painted her new birdhouse that I had gotten her for Christmas while Andy painted the head of a broken yard ornament. Continuing from the previous night, we played some more of the bean bag game and later we had a tea party with Abbey’s new tea set. Cheers!

Nighttime greeted us with the flicker of Christmas lights outside and since the evening was pleasant, I suggested that we take a walk in my neighborhood and check them out. Abbey was all for roaming the streets to see the beauty of the season. Andy wasn't much into walking, so my girlfriend Annette and I took turns carrying him. As we admired the illumination around us, we shared so many thoughts and memories of this time of year. I loved our little yuletide exchange and was grateful to have this special time with Annette and my grand kids enjoying this “simple wonder”. Oxymoron or not, I would never want to miss out on this!

Day 354 ~ Christmas Kids

December 20, 2014

My Instead: I had a different activity (bean bag toss) at my Christmas gathering this year.

The race was over. December, oftentimes a blur to me, was coming into focus as the evening drew near. The online ordering, the shopping, the wrapping, the decorating, the cleaning, and the food preparation were crossing the finish line and I was the one who was out of breath. Does it have to be this way? Does there have to be so much to do? No, but my Christmas is a reflection of me, so I really couldn't do it any other way.

Everyone started arriving at 6 o’clock in the evening. Time to eat, call my out-of-town son, and take family and group photos. Of course, we had to sing Jingle Bells, open presents, do the annual gift exchange, and take the thirteenth annual trivia quiz about last Christmas. Last of the gifts were my personalized photo mugs and calendars to everyone. Now, it was time for the new activity…the bean bag toss. Things were starting to wind down and I was just about ready to just skip it, until I saw a spark of energy still flickering in my guests. I set up the bean bag game, laid down the tape markers for the three different age brackets, drew names to form six teams with each kid as the captain, then let the games begin. Everyone was up and inhaling their second wind. It was amazing. The good sportsmanship and cheering filled my basement like fog on a cool morning following a warm night.

The spirit continued after the winners (my nephew Aidan took first place) were announced. After the game, the kids got a little rowdy with bean bags flying everywhere, but cousins spending time together makes for wonderful childhood memories. 

My “instead” activity was a hit and was thoroughly enjoyed by all the “kids”. After all, there’s a kid inside each one of us. We just have to let ‘em out and play once in a while. 

Day 353 ~ Costco Race and Chuck E's Place

December 19, 2014

My Instead: I went to Costco Wholesale with my daughter-in-law instead of Sam's Club with my sister and then met my sister and her family at Chuck E Cheese for her son's 6th birthday.

Every Christmas season my sister Karen and I make a trip to Sam’s Club to shop for the last minute food items for the Christmas celebration at my house. Karen has a Sam’s card, so she is my ticket into the place. This year, however, my daughter-in law Shaundra offered to take me with her to Costco Wholesale. I think I've only been there once and that was years and years ago…so Costco it was!

When Costco opened at 10:00, Shaundra, my grandson Andy, and I were on it. The store was buzzing with Christmas shoppers and we were part of the buzz. Even though I am NOT a list maker, I had my list. The “amazing race” began as we searched the aisles for each item. But then there were also the detours for things not on the list and all those sample-tasting stations. All and all, the adventure proved to be a fun time as Shaundra and I exchanged our little quips back and forth.

The rest of my day was filled with more shopping, wrapping and logging onto my Christmas spreadsheet…lots to keep track of. Then I remembered that it was my nephew Aidan’s 6^th birthday. I called my sister’s phone to talk to her son. My aging vocal cords belted out the traditional “happy birthday” song to my sweet little nephew. Then his big brother Connor took over as big brothers often do and my phone conversation was more with him than the birthday boy. He invited me to meet them at Chuck E Cheese for pizza and games, but I reminded him that I had a Christmas party the next night. He immediately said “Oh, you have to get ready for that!” Connor is well aware of the “production” I have at my house on Christmas, so the subject was dropped as far as my going to Chuck E Cheese.

It was in the parking lot at Shop ‘n Save where I decided to take Connor up on his offer to join them at Chuck E Cheese. I made the long trek to Fairview Heights and snuck in to surprise them. I got the biggest hugs from Aidan and Connor…that’s what I’m talkin’ about! And then we were off! There were tokens to spend, games to play, and prize tickets to win. We had a blast with football, skee-ball, air hockey and race car driving. As it turned out, my intended 15-minute stay grew to an hour and a half. A kid’s gotta do what a kid’s gotta do. And the kid in me was doing it!

Later at home after all the Chuck E cheer, I “settled back” into my Christmas craziness. Will my “little” visit to my nephew’s birthday celebration make me late for Christmas?  Never.

Costco Adventure

Skee-Ball

Aidan, Chucky and I

Air Hockey Competition

More Air Hockey

Karen, Aidan and I

Day 352 ~ Just Go There

December 18, 2014

My Instead: I took an evening walk down a street that was not in my neighborhood.

It was past 10 o’clock at night and there was still an “instead” to do on my “to do” list. After a few hours of last-minute Christmas shopping, I drove home while thinking about what I could make happen. And then it happened! My car made a quick right turn onto South Virginia Street off of McClintock. I made a U-turn to park on the “permitted” side of the street, put my coat on, and got out to take a walk. No big deal, right? Right. But this was not my neighborhood and I had no destination in mind…at least not geographical. What could possibly be there for me?

I zipped my coat to keep the chill of the night air off my bones and pocketed my hands to keep my fingers from cracking any more than they already had. Let the saunter begin! Ahhhh…it was a crisp, quiet night and there were still some Christmas lights illumined on scattered houses just waiting for me to see. Most of the homes were bungalow-style and reminded me of the second home we bought during my marriage. I saw no signs of life in any of the dwellings, but I wondered who lived within their walls. What kind of people were they to live on this long-established street in Belleville? Were they older and had lived there most of their adult years or were they young and starting a new life? Were they honorable people living a good life? I didn't want to think otherwise. Investigating the distinctions among the houses, the yards, the parked cars, and the decorations kept my brain heavily occupied with its usual analysis. Hey, it’s what I do. 

My head swam with reflections, taking me to a welcomed placed I had no idea of visiting, especially two days before my Christmas celebration. Where my mind and I had been for the last month was nowhere to be found. What I did discover was that there is life beyond the hustle and bustle of the Christmas season. And taking a brief 20 minutes to just “go there” was indeed no waste of time.

Day 351 ~ Fill in the Blank

December 17, 2014

My Instead: I went over to my mom's to join her in singing "Happy Birthday" to my cousin Julie. 

It was a long day of working two jobs, more shopping and more wrapping. During my busyness, I had called my mom to see how she was doing with her new cold. No answer. I called my sister Karen, my brother Bruce and my sister-in-law Pam trying to locate my mother. I even stopped by her house thinking that I would find her so heavily under the weather that she was ignoring phone calls. She wasn’t home! Pam finally called me back while I was at mom’s house and revealed that Mom was with them having dinner. I felt better. I left a note (instead of opening all the kitchen cupboards like I usually do when I stop by), feeling glad that she was okay. 

A few hours later while I was still wrapping, Mom called (stuffy nose and all) to say she was home now and taking care of her cold. She said she was about to call my cousin Julie to wish her a happy birthday. When my dad was alive, they used to call various people to sing “Happy Birthday” on their big day, but Mom would never do that alone. I told her I would be right over to sing to Julie with her!  

When I arrived, I found her comfy on the couch with her tissues and all her “meds” nearby. I kept my distance, not wanting to catch anything right before the holidays. We chatted a bit, cleared our throats, and dialed the phone to call Julie. Darn, we got the answering machine. Oh, well. We sang together in beautiful “harmony” to my 52-year-old cousin, then we both left our endearing messages. 

Since Dad has been gone, I try to fill in the blank whenever I can so Mom doesn’t feel the emptiness in her heart. After all, I am part of Dad!

 

 

Day 350 ~ Feed a Family

December 16, 2014

My Instead: I donated to the St. Louis Children's Hospital Foundation.

Today in the mail, I received a pledge card asking for help with a donation for the St. Louis Children's Hospital Foundation. I stood in my kitchen and quietly read what varying amounts of money would provide. I planned to give $25 as my small Christmas “give back a little” gift this year. I really don’t think I’ve ever done this in the past and I felt that the timeliness of this particular request was a sign for me to donate to them.

As I read the list of ways my gift would help, the $25 - $49 range stated this: A meal for a family staying with their child. I thought about my niece and the hardship for her young family during the last 2 ½ years coping with her stepson’s leukemia. When a child is stricken with a serious illness or injury, it is devastating. The suffering presented to both child and family is unfathomable to me. I never had to endure anything like this in my life and I am so grateful and blessed.

Today, I gave back a little by feeding a family that is not quite so blessed.

Day 349 ~ Snap Out of It

December 15, 2014

My Instead: Bravely, I delivered candy all day with my girlfriend in unfamiliar Springfield, Illinois.

My sister, who manages three Cold Stone Creameries and promotes and sells candy from the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory, asked me if I would help her deliver candy to the various clients of our brother’s accounting firm. All those clients are located in the “unfamiliar” greater Springfield, Illinois area. Karen and I did this last year with the help of two local college students. We each drove while the students navigated with the help of cheat sheets and GPS. This year our help would be a local woman in her 70s named Linda and my girlfriend Annette.

Karen, Annette and I headed up to Springfield in two cars to the home of my brother and sister-in-law, Dale and Cathy. We arrived before 8:30 and chatted in the Christmassy setting of their great room. It was warm and comfortable…a true pleasure…conversations and all. It was after midnight when we finally realized that we had better get some sleep. After all, we had a big job to do early in the morning that would require stellar and alert minds.

We got started about a half hour late because of our insatiable thirst for conversation lingering from the night before. Karen and Linda were loaded up in Karen’s car and Annette and I in mine. We had cheat sheets in hand and phone GPSs warmed up. Annette and I started off with no struggles. The delivery points were in sequential order according to their proximity to one another. At times we found ourselves in “Slum Dog” areas, not even realizing Springfield had areas like this. I was thankful at times that I had a strong, over-6-foot girlfriend.

Our next area was downtown Springfield and that is when the trouble began…and that trouble was one-way streets. We tracked and backtracked so often, I thought the gears of my transmission were going to be rubbed smooth. Annette was driving and I was cringing with every shift to get us moving in another direction. At one point (while I was driving), I almost backed up and hit some old woman whom I did not see at all. Annette saw her from her vantage point and yelled. I thought she was yelling about an oncoming car that I had already seen. The tension was mounting. We were “spinning our wheels” in every sense of that term.  

After the downtown fiasco, we found ourselves in the outlying nicer neighborhoods, feeling like our heads were rising above the water again. We even found time and a place to eat. Yeah, Sonic! Then the client sheets took us to the business districts of outer Springfield and that’s when the tension tightened once again. There was one business that we just could NOT locate. We wasted valuable time and daylight. Businesses started to close and it became futile to try to deliver anymore. Karen was done and back at Dale and Cathy’s urging us to come home with the undelivered boxes of candy. Annette and I did not argue. We were DONE!

I was very much on edge with the challenge and subsequent frustration from this all-day affair. Last year the college gal and I had frustrations, but I don’t think I felt quite that crabby when we had finished. For unreasonable reasons, I was annoyed with Annette. I believe this bad feeling was heightened because familiarity was added to the mix. After all, it does breed contempt. Poor Annette.

The ride home from Springfield to Belleville was quiet. I was in no mood to talk and I’m glad now that I didn't blurt. God only knows what I would have said to my sweet girlfriend. Annette had tried earlier to raise my spirits, but I was too deep into my “crap”. We went to sleep that night with very few words of affection and very much discomfort. Where was this all coming from? I had to sort through the muck and there was plenty to sort through.

When she left the next morning, she said I hope you “snap out of it”. I hadn't felt that negative all year. Later that morning instead of blogging and wrapping, I was looking at some Facebook posts and found this one. “If you are not happy with your life, just look at two things ... yourself in the mirror and the people around you. If either of those are stopping you, change them”.

Time to look in the mirror…again.

Day 348 ~ Buried Alive!

December 14, 2014

My Instead: I buried myself in a pile of leaves.

Remember when you were a kid and enjoyed the simple things? Remember when playing in a pile of dry autumn leaves was one of them? It was for me! But today’s “simple thing” was going to be filled with Annette and me spending the afternoon in my yard cleaning up yet another “blessing” from this time of the year…fallen leaves. "Playing" in a pile of leaves was in neither one of our heads.

While I was still finishing up stuff inside, Annette was hard at it raking and gathering in my small front yard and then in the backyard. When I finally did make it outside, I filled my riding lawn mower’s tires with air and started her up! I mowed the large downhill slope in the back, blowing the leaves toward the center. She got those raked up. I mowed the upper back yard, again blowing the leaves toward the center. She raked those up too. At one point when I brought Annette some more leaf bags, she said that she almost had a mind to hide in the pile of leaves and jump out and scare me. Awww…that would have been so cool.

Light bulb! I can do that! I haven’t been covered up with leaves since I was a kid. I immediately “dug” my way into the leaves and Annette finished by covering up my rear. I was totally buried alive in nature, smelling that unforgettable scent of dry autumn leaves. I took it all in for a minute and asked Annette to take my photo as I erupted from the pile. Afterwards, I lay down in the midst of this deciduous downfall and covered up with just my face showing. I looked up in the sky, befriending that abandoned child inside me once again. Ahhh…welcome back to my world.

Ready to dig my way in!

I'm goin' in!

Buried alive!

Erupting



Thar she blows!

The resurrection!

Day 347 ~ 12-13-14

December 13, 2014

My Instead: I toasted 12-13-14 and later joined in on a sing-along of Christmas songs at a holiday party.

Annette and I had a busy social Saturday planned. There was a housewarming party starting at 2 o’clock and a holiday party at 6 that evening. We started out lazy in the morning, but then got crackin’ with a few chores like blogging and cleaning out the refrigerator.

When we finally arrived at the housewarming party around 5, there was a comfortable gathering of people…just enough to engage in some interesting conversations. As the party was coming to its end, I asked all who were still there to fill their glasses one last time and join in on a toast. As we raised our glasses, I toasted to good friends and also to the last sequential date of the century, 12-13-14. I asked everyone else to add to the toasted moment, sharing in a wonderful sisterhood.

We arrived at the holiday party before 8 o’clock and joined in the hoopla of the moment by greeting friends, meeting new friends, adding more food to the already-brimming dining table, and getting some drinks. There was a small bonfire out in the front yard where we stood and chewed some fat with friends, new and old. While we were outside in the “not so cold” evening air, we greeted some musicians walking up to join our party. Realizing that a sing-along was brewing inside, we made our way back into the house to be part of the action.

One of the singing members handed out jingle bells and song sheets to anyone that wanted to sing. Annette and I found a chair between the Christmas tree and the food table (perfect placement). Then the holiday house walls began to vibrate with the sound of cheery Christmas music. We rang our jingle bells and sang to our hearts content. I was, of course, singing many of the verses in my “opera” voice which did not break any glasses, but may have broken some eardrums. I could have sung all night, but the music stopped just as my vocal cords were turning into fingernails on a chalkboard.

Our evening transformed into a holiday extravaganza…much more than what we anticipated…as usual, when we say yes.

 

Jingle Bells

The loudest singers...well, one of them!

 

The singing instigators

Housewarming friends toasted 12-13-14