My Instead: I confronted
a client of mine about "busting my chops" over a misunderstanding about
a pre-scheduled appointment time.
Sunday is typically our
day of rest, right? Well, maybe not so much when you have people to please. One
of my favorite individuals for whom I have worked for over 3 years needed me to
reattach a cabinet door coming off the hinges. I had painted her kitchen
cabinets a couple of months prior, so I felt I had to take care of this right
away because “I back up my work”. Sunday was my first available time slot. I
remember saying that I would try to be there on Sunday and, if that doesn’t
work out, I’d be there Monday. I may have hinted at being there at 9:00 in the
morning.
Sunday morning greeted
me with several tumultuous phone conversations about some disturbing and
disrespectable activity that had occurred at a pool party I attended Saturday
afternoon. I was also making potato salad for my grandson’s birthday party. When
I finally looked at the clock, it was after 11:00!. I’d better call my client
and tell her I’ll be there within the hour. In a calm but cold manner, she
reminded me that I had told her I would be there at 9 and also that she had put
her morning on hold waiting for me. Have chops, will bust. Ouch! I admit that I
may have said that, but the phone works both ways. Just call me and ask “where
are you?” in a nice and respectful way. After my pandemonic morning, I was in
no mood to be disrespected again for just being human.
I drove over to her
house thinking about better ways she could have handled me. There had been a
few other times that she had made her “digs” at me. I always had let it slide.
She had also told me stories where she had done this to others. She can be a
bit on the defensive about how people treat her or, in her mind, mistreat her. She
and I do, however, have a great rapport and, yes, even a friendship. So why
bust my chops over a simple miscommunication? Please just give me the benefit
of the doubt! I decided to confront her. This is my year!
I walked in with a
baggie filled with some of the potato salad I had just made…my peace offering. I
proceeded to perform my handiwork…it was a quick-fix. Then I put it out there.
I spoke my piece about wanting to be respected, about how I am not on this
earth to piss her off, about the fact that I have stuff going on in my life
too, about what I thought was a good rapport between us, about why was she
busting my chops over a simple misunderstanding, and lastly about our
friendship. I said it all with a matter-of-fact, but respectful tone. She
listened to me. We chatted somewhat about the crux of the matter and then left
it alone to fade away.
This is something that I
would never have done before, I promise you. But the disrespect that I have
encountered in my life has to be addressed and stopped. Never do I want to have
or create a reputation of being a “bitch” (pardon me), but I HAVE to do
something NOW. This is an “instead” that will stick. And I will do it
respectfully, I guarantee.
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