Day 83 ~ Attrition and Abandonment

Day 83 ~ Attrition and Abandonment 

Mar 24, 2014

 

My first: I took my mom to the funeral for Vivian, one of her childhood friends.

 

My mom asked me to take her to her friend Vivian’s wake and funeral because Mom did not want to drive all the way to Columbia, IL alone. Besides, my dad (now gone for almost 2 years) didn’t want her driving there by herself anymore. Even though I encourage my mom any and every chance I get to be independent and strong, I said yes to her (and Dad’s) request.

 

We went to the funeral home first for the wake and I got to see Vivian one last time myself. I remember her mostly because of a tragedy that occurred over 50 years ago. She lost her husband and 3-year-old daughter in a terrible car accident and Vivian was the one driving. They hit a muddy section in the road due to construction and she lost control of the car. It was a horribly sad thing for the family and I remember accompanying my mom to that wake as well.

 

So here we are, my mom and I, once again paying our respects. But now we are saying good-bye to this sweet lady. We got to meet one of her daughters Judy who was so open to sharing her mother’s memory with us. She asked me to exchange numbers so that if anything happens to my mom, I will be able to notify her. We both knew that time would come.

 

During the funeral mass, I gazed over at my mother and saw her eyes reflecting a deep feeling of loss, not only for Vivian, but for all those friends and relatives that have gone before her.  My mom is slowly being abandoned by so many that have filled her life with love and joy.

 

The end of life’s journey is inevitable for us all, but how does it feel when you are the one that is left behind. My mom dwells on her emptiness, especially since Dad is gone. I always say that losing someone older is following the natural course of things. The human race is always being replaced. Science, history, our brains, and even our common sense tell us this. But our hearts, well, that’s another story.

 

What can I do to help my mom find joy in the new life that surrounds her?  What can I do to lift that shadow that follows her every day? I’ll just be there for her…and love her.