Day 179 ~ Have Wall, Will Climb

June 28, 2014

My instead: I volunteered as the Operations Director Assistant at the St. Louis Pride Festival and climbed a rock wall. 

It’s day one of the Pride Festival in St. Louis. My first assignment is to go to the florist and pick up the wreath for the wreath laying ceremony for the LGBT military. My friend Steve was the MC for this event at the Soldiers’ Memorial last year and again this year. It’s always quite emotional for those of us that attend. This ceremony represents the phenomenal victory for the people of these diverse lifestyles to be able to serve their country with pride.  

Wearing my orange “ambassador” shirt, I took on the honorable role of assistant to the Operations Director, Steve. We busied ourselves with the last minute odds and ends that seemed to increase instead of decrease. The energy and the pride was exuding from everyone there. No more bags on heads to hide identities, no more police raids, no more bashing and no more closets…just people wanting acceptance and inclusion.

As the day’s burden lessened its hold on us, Steve and I actually began to feel the fun. We decided to go for it and climb a rock wall. It was his idea and I immediately said “I’m doing it too!” He took the lead and went up the medium and difficult courses. As I watched and took the photos, I prepared myself mentally for my turn. I would do the easy course, of course! A young black women tried it ahead of me and couldn’t do it. She kept saying she did it at boot camp but could not do it now because she was too drunk. Seriously? Well, I wasn’t drunk. I climbed up in seconds and then rode the rope down. Whooh! I could have done it more and even tried the more difficult courses…but I didn’t want to show off. ;-)  I am so thankful that I could do this. How many people my age and much younger that cannot do this stuff…they don’t know what they’re missing.

 

 

Day 178 ~ Pride and Prejudice

June 27, 2014

My instead: I volunteered to set up for the St. Louis Pride Festival.

My buddy Steve asked me several times if I would be his assistant at the annual Pride Festival in St. Louis. He was the Operations Director. My hesitation was not the fruit of my non-committal tendencies. Really. I simply was not sure I wanted to commit my time to this type of event. I have been there in the past and have not been impressed with the “goings-on” there. But then I remembered my year’s resolve…and here before me was a grand opportunity to “diversify” my list of “insteads”. Okay! 

I reported to the Pride venue at the St. Louis Soldiers' Memorial Military Museum. Steve and I hit the pavement running. We were all over the map…the festival map, that is. We applied signage, moved stuff to its rightful place, answered questions, found out the answers to questions…you name it. It was busy, but it was fun. Golf carts and walkie-talkies do that…I’m still a kid at heart! 

Things slowly took shape as vendors occupied their assigned spots. Working towards a common goal with all these folks was a nice reminder of the teamwork I experienced at my old job. Nice memories revisited.  

After a long day of “running the show”, I went home and somehow felt elation about being a part of something with such a difficult but interesting history. The gay lifestyle has evolved so much in the last 25 years...or 125 years. I could only wonder “Where will it go from here?” My hope is that it melds with the mainstream and that diversity becomes just a little less diverse.

Day 177 ~ Just Like Being There

June 26, 2014

My instead: Instead of waiting for my mom's annual birthday call to me at 4:59 (my birth time), I was at her door at that time to visit her in person! 

"Today is my birthday!” This was what I sang when I answered each incoming birthday call I received. It was wonderful being remembered by so many. They called…they texted…they posted on my Facebook page. One day. A day that replenished me…like a tree enjoying its April promise after winter’s depletion.

My 62^nd birthday started out with a job on the west end. After that was done, my “instead” intention was to climb a bluff and look over the Mississippi valley. No go. I got a call from my neighbor. He was in desperate need for some yard work. Will do. Then my niece Emily called and we had to chat…love talking with her. Then my daughter-in-law Shaundra came over with the kids to drop off my birthday gift.  All in a day’s birthday celebration.  

When I pulled into my garage after my lawn job, I saw the clock. Yes! I didn’t miss my mom’s annual birthday call. It was only 10 to 5. She would call at 4:59, my birth time. Enter wild hair. I’ll go over to Mom’s before the call! With phone in hand, I arrived at Mom’s front door. It rang. It was Mom. I hit the doorbell. She came to the door with her phone and was totally astonished. Then she knew. I was there in person for that moment…62 years later. We held each other.

After a little visit, I left. I backed out of the driveway gazing at my mom as she stood looking back at me.   

 

Day 176 ~ The 11th Hour

June 25, 2014

My instead: After an 11 hour day, instead of collapsing at home for the evening, I got ready and went out to meet friends in St. Louis’ The Grove. 

Clean Joanne’s house in the morning – check. Work 4 hours cleaning up friend’s landscaping in the afternoon – check. Mow my own lawn and weed eat in the evening– check. Get cleaned up and go meet friends at The Grove in St. Louis– are you kidding me! The couch called my name and begged me to rest. I ain’t dead yet! “Instead” I showered, dressed, put my face on, lacquered my hair and was out the door. Second wind, keep it comin’! 

I arrived at the outside patio and met my friend Annette and several other people. The evening was glad I decided to take it all in…and so was I. The musicians were in on it too and made my exhaustion flow from me. Send in the substitution…serenity.

 
When the music died, several of us settled in the patio’s poise sharing our stuff from the past,

present and what’s to come. We all felt the welcomed departure from our day-to-day-to-day...

 

 

Day 175 ~ goodpeople.com

June 24, 2014

My instead: I met up with someone recommended by a friend after she found this person on Match.com.   

On Day 172 (June 21^st) I contacted Ann (my friend’s Match.com surplus) by phone to introduce myself and perhaps go out with her to get to know her better. Will wonders never cease! She texted me on the following Tuesday to ask me to meet her that evening. I said “tonight is good”. 

My mother was right: “Mary is always late.” And tonight was no exception. Why do I feel the need to explain? I meant to leave my house an hour before our meeting time of 5:00. Didn’t happen…cut that hour in half. Then a train AND traffic plotted against me as well. I could have been 15 minutes early had I left an hour before as intended. Instead, well, you do the math. Ann took my tardiness in stride…score 2 points. 

Our dining pleasure was at Mission Taco in the “Loop”.  Each of us ordered our entrees and knowing that I am not drinking alcohol this year, she asked if I minded if she had a beer…score 2 more points. Of course, I don’t mind!  We enjoyed light and amusing conversation during dinner and split the financial “burden” of the bill. That’s worth a point!

Ann suggested that we go to the top of the Moon Rise Hotel and enjoy the outdoor lounge, the beautiful evening and the view. Excellent! Score 2 more points. Two large vacant banana-shaped padded chairs awaited our arrival and we “parked” ourselves right there. The comfort of the loungers and the conversation kept us on that roof top for almost 3 hours!

Daylight exited and so did we. I threw the scorecard away… I don’t keep score anyway. However, I do recognize good people when I see them and she is one. I told her as we parted that if she wanted to “hang out sometime, give me a call”. I am such the romantic, right? Maybe not so much…just keepin’ the horse before the cart…

 

 

Day 174 ~ I Saw the Sign

June 23, 2014

My instead: I took a late night drive going nowhere. 

I had gotten home relatively early from my day’s work. The rains prevented me from working on into the evening. After eating my leftovers and a salad, I settled down to play catch-up with my blogging…a common event in my household. I had every intention of painting my last bedroom, but the blog hogged that time slot. I finally wrapped it up just before 9:00. 

“Instead” of relaxing my "brain" on the couch or going to bed to read or watch TV, I elected to take a drive to nowhere. As I pulled out of my driveway, I had no idea where my ‘98 Honda and I were headed. We rode the wet city streets with "nowhere" clear in sight. I hoped that a “somewhere” would break the cycle and invite me in. Coffee shops were few and far between and 9 o’clock at night is NOT their happy hour. I passed plenty of taverns, entertaining the thought that I could have a non-alcoholic beverage and prattle with patrons. My Honda knew better and would not let me make that turn. 

Remembering that I needed coffee, I relented and pulled into the parking lot of Shop ‘n Save. As I walked into the store, I thought about my year thus far AND the remaining six months of “insteads” still waiting in the wings. Self-doubt escorted me to the coffee aisle. The effort required to create “insteads” and then the blogs that ensue have proved to be quite the undertaking. However, my life has been re-routed onto a course that I love and that entices me. There they are again! The yin and the yang…no longer my estranged friends.   

I purchased my coffee and walked out into the drizzle. As I headed to my car, I walked by a leaning stop sign and thought nothing of it. And then I SAW it! I saw the “sign”. Someone apparently didn’t stop…and neither will I…

 

 

Day 173 ~ Some Things Can Wait, Some Shouldn’t

June 22, 2014

My instead: I took my mom to see her new great grandson Archer in Springfield, Illinois. 

After the anguish surrounding my great nephew’s birth, I thought it was time for my mom and me to make a road trip to Springfield, Illinois to see her new grandson Archer. We arrived at Dale and Cathy’s, my brother and sister-in-law, in the early afternoon. After hugs and chatting a bit, we took the quickest route to Sarah and Sam’s, the proud new parents of baby Archer.

The rest of Dale’s entire family was there waiting on the driveway for our arrival. We bestowed hugs and kisses and then Sam and his daughter Alayna had to depart while the remainder of us went inside to cooler temperatures.  

My niece Emily and I slipped away to share the current events of our “love lives”. We offered each other advice wherever appropriate or necessary. Whether we heed it or not is unimportant…it’s just fun to feel like Dr. Phil now and again.  

Emily and I finally retired to the living room with the rest of the folks and joined in on the “welcome” gathering for little Archer. My camera quickly became a part of my ensemble as I began creating my “Archer Album”.

After a relaxing time with our newest family member, we went back to Dale’s house which is on Lake Springfield, enjoying a scenic ride on his boat. Later on, we sped off to Island Bay to chow down on a BBQ buffet. With our bellies brimming, we strolled past the bar, yes I said “past”, to the swimming pool to watch big sister Amelia remind us of what “child’s play” is all about.

Later, it started to sprinkle so we wrapped things up and got all aboard for the lakeside ride home. We visited a little while longer at the house which allowed me just enough time to snap a photo of Archer breaking into a smile. Give a guy a compliment and his face will light up. I’ll have to remember that! 

Time for the long ride home…Mom and I said our good-byes, loaded up and headed back to Belleville. Our conversation was much better than on the way up…sometimes Mom and I can clash. Are we too alike or too different? The jury is still out on that one. Anyway, we got our booster buffer shot with the “fam” which enabled us to just “be”. It was nice and welcomed. 

Taking my Sunday to spend time with my mom and family “instead” of working was the tip of the scale I needed to balance me out again. Sometimes it can all just wait…

Mom and I with Archer

Archer and I

Mom and I enjoying Dale's boat

Amelia, the big sister, having pool fun

Smiling Archer

 

Day 172 ~ The Ball is in the Court

June 21, 2014

My instead: With no other communication beforehand (like texting, emails, Facebook, Match.com.), I called someone to ask out for a date. 

My friend Maureen had met Ann via Match.com several months earlier. It didn’t work out as a romantic thing for them, but a new friendship nonetheless was born. As Maureen told me more and more about Ann, I began to arrive at the possibility that this person may be a good match for me!  

Throughout the last few months, Maureen has shared tidbits of Ann with me as I became more intrigued. I kept my interest about Ann on the down low though, if you can believe that. But then, little by little, I would make a “wonder if” comment to Maureen. I think she got the hint because she finally posed the possibility to Ann about meeting me. Surprisingly, Ann was open to it!  

Okay, now I have Ann's phone number. Freaking out! I don’t do this! I don’t ask people out like ever! And this would be a “cold call” with no prior communication like texting, emails, Facebook, Match.com. Who does this? No one just picks up the phone to call and ask someone out, especially not me! When it comes to this kind of thing, my self-esteem has left the building. I kept texting Maureen and calling her to explore my apprehension and retrieve some semblance of confidence.  

With stomach churning, I dialed Ann’s number. No answer…go figure. I had a bet with Maureen that Ann would not answer in order to get a voicemail to hear me and my message. I left what I deemed to be a clever message, but that judgment could really only be made from the other end. Anyway, the deed was done.

A couple of hours later, a phone call came in with a number that looked all too familiar to me. It was Ann. I answered and we talked...for an hour. The conversation bloomed and felt like a friendship from another life had been renewed. We were so open to sharing ourselves, either by answering questions or simply volunteering information. It was just what I love to do…talk candidly. 

Each of us had things to do so we signed off with Ann’s promise to text or call suggesting something for us to do to finally meet. I guess I will wait for her “serve”…

Day 171 ~ Refuge from the Deluge

June 20, 2014

My instead: I offered a ride to a woman in torrential downpour and she accepted! 

While cleaning up the landscaping for a couple of hours in my friend’s yard, a storm brewed.  Not unlike waiting for water to boil, I kept peering at the clouds pointing their fateful fists my way. Enter recurring thought “Will I get struck by lightning, refusing to stop working?”  

The tops of the trees were waving me on. “Get out of here!” No! Head down and my hands in my rock pile, I forged ahead with my task. Then the skies had no more threats to tender.  Unlike a parent just “promising” to punish, the thrashing began…unrelenting. 

My second gear was shifted as I hustled to put tools away and gather up things to take with me. I was the “Wreck of the Hesperus” by the time I was poured into my Honda. 

On my way out of the subdivision, I found a woman walking in this deluge with a bag of goods. Without hesitation and while unlocking my back door, I rolled down my window and yelled “get in!” She mumbled something and then allowed me to come to her rescue by getting in. She said that I would have to turn around which I assumed. We were at her apartment building in no time and she graciously said that it was nice to know that there are still good people around. I agreed with a knowing smile, having been consistently reminded of this during my year of “insteads”. As she was about to get out of my car, she offered her hand and said her name was Susan. I told her mine and shook her hand. She said “thank you again” and I said “you’re welcome, you’re very welcome”. I watched as she walked to her building, then snapped a photo as she entered her door and her refuge.  

I sat there in my silent reverie remembering that blustery day on March 2^nd (Day 61) when I offered a ride to a woman walking in a blizzard on the Troy-O’Fallon Road. That “instead” did not quite have the same ending. As grateful as Susan was for the ride, I was thankful for her “allowing” me to help her, but mostly for the chance to remind one person that there still ARE good people in the world.  

Day 170 ~ Time Slipping into the Future

June 19, 2014

My instead: My daughter Robin and I actually got bumped by another “It Works” independent distributor to work a bridal show. So “instead” we went to dinner, then picked up my mom and went on a little road trip. 

My daughter Robin and I had been signed up to work a bridal show at the Regency Convention Center in Shiloh since May 10^th. We had asked the coordinator if any other “It Works” independent distributors were signed up to be there. She was sure there were no other vendors like us on the list. Okay, we’re in!  

Robin and I arrived at the Regency with just enough time to set up. As I walked in, one of the women working the show said “Oh, I just saw the rest of your team!”  Uh-oh, what team? I walked into the showroom and there it was…an “It Works” table (nicely set up, I might add) ready to “work the show”. I stood there in disbelief and disappointment.

We immediately went to the “authorities” for the bridal show and asked what was going on…we were supposed to be the only “It Works” vendor there!  I’m not sure where the confusion reared its ugly head, but we were ousted. We did not want to lie in the shadows of this other vendor.  After being assured of a complete refund and offered first dibs at their October bridal show, we graciously left…very disappointed.

So now what? Let’s go to dinner…which we seldom do…compliments of our busy lives. We enjoyed our meals and each other. Somehow the rocky road of our past (you know, those teenage years) was yielding.  

After dinner, I suggested that we go see her brother’s new lot and the foundation of his new home. She said yes! Then I proposed that we ask her grandma to go along with us. She said yes! We went to my mom’s house and boarded our new passenger. The three of us drove out to Knab Road and enjoyed the beauty of the countryside. As we arrived at the site, I again took in the energy and comfort of its surroundings. I secretly hoped that they would feel the same. Something about that place I just love. I think the “openness” nails it! I commemorated our 3-generational visit with a selfie…with sunglasses and without. We were three cool chicks.   

As we were leaving, Mom asked if she could show Robin the World War II plaque at the Smithton cemetery etched with my dad’s name. Of course! The three of us peered at Dad’s name with a quiet reverence. Then we visited Robin’s ancestors’ gravesites… particularly the women. And there in one poignant glance, we could see the stones of her great, great, grandmother Rosa Helfrich, her great, great grandmother Mary Haudrich, her great grandma Eleanor Becker. There they rested and there we stood…daughter, mother, and grandmother.  

Without sunglasses

With sungleases

Day 169 ~ Make a Big Splash

June 18, 2014

My instead: After working out in the sun and heat, I jumped into the swimming pool with my work clothes on. 

My sister’s friend Lashonda was in great need of some clean-up work on the overgrown weeds in the landscaping all around her swimming pool. When I arrived right before noon, I quickly got busy with my arduous assignment. Cleaning up the unwanted greenery, removing the rock, replacing the weed barrier, and then putting the rock back were the orders of the day…or should I say “days”. Ugh.

At one point, and I do mean point, I stepped on the end of my pitchfork-like rake and almost stabbed the bottom of my foot. There was a hole made in the sole of my shoe, but no hole in my foot. With the pain that ensued, I was sure I would see gushing blood and the inside of an emergency room shortly thereafter. How did that not happen! The good Lord was in my corner! 

The process seemed slow and tedious…I guess because it was! My only hope was that things become easier and faster the longer I engage in the activity. A better system is all I need. My back would appreciate that too. Now to figure out the better system…hmmm. 

ANYway, as “Ellen” would say...after my 4 hours of labor in the hot sun (instead of heading home and getting ready for a meeting), I made a big splash in their pool. Cawabunga! My sister was in the pool already with her two sons and two nephews, so I decided to join them in their fun. And in order to entertain the boys, I did some of my not-so-famous dives. Esther Williams I am not. (Google her if you’re 50 years old or younger.) She was amazing!

Being like one of the kids and enjoying this kind of summertime fun was a much better “instead” than what I would have usually done. Ya know, sometimes I just get tired of acting like a grownup…time to make up for lost time! And the time is right now…while I still can…

Cawabunga!

Make a Big Splash!

Then survive to tell about it!

 

 

Day 168 ~ Grabbey Time!

June 17, 2014

My instead: My granddaughter Abbey and I painted a picture on my wall. 

Every other Tuesday, I have the opportunity to watch my grandson Andy while my daughter-in-law goes to work that day. She loves being a stay-at-home mom the rest of the week. Now that summertime is here though, I get to watch my granddaughter Abbey too on that Tuesday!  

The day was warm and sunny so we decided to chill in my brother’s pool for a couple of hours. As the sun bestowed its energy, the cool pool reduced mid-June’s fever. Abbey and Andy were soaking up both of them. And it was fun for Grandma too! 

While on the road home for only a half mile, I peered back at Andy in his car seat. He was zonked. His daddy Kyle, my son, used to fall asleep before we were backed out of the driveway! The slumbering effect of a car ride! 

When we arrived home, I laid Andy on my couch for his (Yay!) two-hour nap. Then it was “Grabbey” time (Combination of Grandma and Abbey)! Unsure of where I spawned this idea, I suggested that we paint a picture on a wall of the bedroom still in need of painting. I brought out the “washable” paints, printed out a sketch of a koala (Abbey’s choice), covered Abbey in a “paint smock” and chose the wall to be adorn.

I traced the koala with a pencil onto the wall and then Abbey and I applied our collage of colors to dress the little creature. Because most of my paints were dried up, our color choices were a bit “off-the-wall”. That did not deter us from our quest towards Michelangelo mastery. Abbey was having such a good time doing something that normally is NOT ALLOWED (I continually reminded her of that, Mommy). But now it was! And when Andy woke up, he got into the act too but with no paint on his brush. He didn’t seem to mind. Maybe I will invest in an easel just in case the urge to do this again arises. 

We had a great day that Abbey said was “just as fun” as her recent vacation in Branson, Missouri…with “no boring parts”.  

"Insteads", you are a life saver...a new life immersed in joy.

 

Andy and Abbey soaking it up!



Grabby Time!

 

 

Vanna White?

 

No paint on his brush, but still fun!

Day 167 ~ Slug Bug

June 16, 2014

My instead: I had breakfast and coffee in bed. 

When the light comes in the window, I might give myself a few minutes to rise to the occasion of a new day. Then it’s feet to the floor and, of course, a run to the bathroom. I don’t consider myself a regimented person, but making my bed is usually at the top of my “to do” list in the morning…and I don’t even have a “to do” list. Making my bed just helps in preventing me from crawling back under the covers.

But let the “instead” begin! Coffee and breakfast in bed! Why not pretend like you’re living a life of leisure…at least until you have to get up to get to work. That was the advice I got from my slacker self.  It was my time to eat, drink and just be…Mary. I did sway from my slug morning and completed a blog. (I had six to write to get up to date.) 

My morning leave of absence was about to vanish as reality pointed its finger of guilt at me. I raced out of the house in an effort not to be late for my first appointment.  

And my bed was left unmade…

 

Day 166 ~ Pickle Springs Paparazzi

June 15, 2014

My instead: I went to Farmington to visit my friend Annette and to hike Pickle Springs. 

Sunday is a day of rest? I haven’t done that for a while. It’s time to “Keep holy the Sabbath”.

My friend Annette and I have talked about hiking around the Farmington area where she lives for months. Unfortunately, our timing was always off until now. Annette planned on having two other friends down for a hike, but they both bailed on her for various reasons. She still extended the invitation to me, so I took a leap of faith and said YES! 

The drive from my house to hers took about 1½ hours. I hit some rain, but that did not thwart my efforts to make it on time. I found her place with no problem and immediately got the hug and the tour that come with a first-time visit. We decided that the rain was on hiatus for the rest of the day so we went with our original plans to hike the trail at Pickle Springs. I had my camera with me to take it all in as we started on our trek. Annette was very patient with me and all the stops along the way to photograph the beauty and idiosyncrasies of this trail. I explained to her the nuance of being behind the camera and what the photographer sees and also what she misses. Photography can be a double-edged sword when it comes to one’s perception. She hadn’t really thought of it that way and was happy to hear my crazy thoughts on the matter. 

We enjoyed our time together on the trail talking, sharing, laughing and, of course, taking pictures. She did her share too with her phone camera, so I didn’t feel quite so guilty with my photo stops.  

After our fill of nature, we enjoyed a Thai dinner and then went to a winery but had no wine. We just sat and enjoyed the scenery and the stories. We went back to her house and sat for a while and visited with her neighbor. We “kept company with” one another on the porch just like the old days…face to face. Kind of like…home, sweet, home.  “Instead” of working or hanging around my stomping grounds, I left home for a day and experienced the greatness of our Creator.

 

Day 165 ~ Three for the Road

June 14, 2014

My instead: I walked the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in St. Louis. 

Time to get up…5 o’clock came pretty quickly on a Saturday morning when I usually sleep in for an extra 15 minutes. But it was the day of the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in St. Louis. I told my daughter Robin that I would be at her house by 6:00 to pick up her and her son Tyler. I arrived there at 6:02! 

Robin was ready to go and Tyler was in tow looking a bit, well, like he just woke up. We got to the Metro Link with our pre-purchased tickets ready to ride. There was no crowd to cramp us as we traversed the tracks to the big city. When we got off the train, it was quite a different story. We were like cattle corralled onto the sidewalk moving toward the event. What a spread! There were tents everywhere with people handing out a plethora of giveaways. The spirit was escalating as the crowds grew by the thousands! As the song goes….good, good, good good vibrations. 

The three of us gathered for a silly photo with plenty of props. I texted the pic to my friend Barb, who is battling breast cancer, along with her husband Tom and said “We’re here for you, Barb”. They were thrilled! 

As 8:45 creeped up on us, we herded towards the starting line and before we knew it, we were en route with over 30,000 participants walking the 5K race. Energy of the best kind abounded.  There were pockets of supporters or volunteers along the way playing music, clapping, handing out cups of water, or just watching in amazement as the mass of marchers passed by them. 

Two hours later we were crossing the finish line. Our legs and joints were feeling it, since we had been on our feet for over seven hours. It was time for us to leave this venue of volition. Robin and I enjoyed the experience for its positive and unrelenting energy. Tyler hung in there with us and never complained. There were some fun things for him along the way like a massive bubble machine and snow cones which helped him to wage onward. For 11-years-old, he was a real trouper.  

“Instead” of watching the event’s video on TV from the comfort of my couch this year, I chose to draw upon the spirit within me to join forces with these passionate people and pursue a dream to end breast cancer and the havoc it wreaks.