Day 333 ~ Ageless Attempt

November 29, 2014

My Instead: I played keep-away with my grandsons and nephews “instead” of sitting around with the adults.

Today my dad would have been 88-years-old. But he’s not really. His clock stopped here on earth and now he is ageless. But we still celebrate you, Dad. Your family still gets together the Saturday after Thanksgiving to celebrate our thanks for having had you in our lives. Pizza is the tradition that you started years ago when you used to make home-made pizza for all of us. A while back, however, Pizza Hut took over to continue your enterprise.

In my own little attempt to be ageless, I joined my grandsons Tyler and Danny, my nephew Connor and my great-nephew Adam for a game of keep-away. A basketball was our choice to “keep away” which called for displays of some fancy dribbling. Adam was the pro at this process. But it’s all fun and games until somebody gets hurt. And that somebody was me. Instead of my catching the ball, the ball caught ME, right on the ring finger of my right hand. Not to worry about my hand modeling career…that was never in my stars. However, my hands would be famous if ever hired for a horror movie.

Seldom the quitter, I kept on playing, doing more guarding than dribbling…since I rarely got possession of the ball anyway. But then the throbbing began. My finger was the sole proprietor of pounding pain in my body. If this is what arthritis feels like, my heart goes out to all those who suffer with this affliction. I felt like a wimp when I finally announced that I had to pull myself out of the competition. They understood.

Later in the evening when I was driving Tyler and Danny back home, I asked if they thought I was too old to be playing such games with them. Danny immediately said, “That’s never gonna happen.” Tyler agreed.

Ageless?

The Competition

Let the games begin!

 

 

Day 332 ~ Escape from Tradition

November 28, 2014

My Instead: My daughter-in-law Shaundra and I did a duct tape escape at our Thanksgiving celebration.

Traditions are an interesting thing. They’re created. They’re changed. They’re continued. They’re dissolved.  We rearrange them, we fight over them, we ignore them, we tolerate them, we look forward to them, we hate them, we love them. For many of us, holidays are when this thing called tradition comes to the forefront.

This year my Thanksgiving tradition came the day after. I planned and prepared to have my family (minus my son and his wife from Phoenix) for a turkey dinner on “Black Friday” evening. Not just to lighten my load, I asked everyone to bring a dish, hoping to make it feel more like a joint effort. My living room became my “dining room” filled with tables, chairs and place settings. Everyone arrived around 6 o’clock, except my mother, who was there at 5:30, just as I finished getting dressed. The potatoes got mashed and prepared dishes were placed on my kitchen table and counter…a veritable smorgasbord.

After dinner, all hands were on deck for the cleanup...female hands, that is. The “kitchen patrol” banter was abundant and the laughter was equally as much. And we still got the job done! Women are amazing that way!

Now for the “non-tradition”! I had seen an astonishing stunt on Facebook where a woman demonstrated how to escape from having her wrists duct taped together. Explaining the maneuver and how I hoped they would never have to use it, I asked for volunteers. My daughter Robin had too many non-removable bracelets on her wrists to be a likely candidate. Next on my list of possible challengers was my daughter-in-law Shaundra. With reservation, she agreed. I wound the pink duct tape around her wrists about three times and gave her charade-like instructions on how to escape. Once, twice, third time was the charm. Shaundra was free! She couldn’t believe it worked...I couldn’t either.

Shaundra insisted that I do the honors as well, so as not to miss out on the fun she just had. She returned the favor by winding pink duct tape around my wrists. Once, twice…eighth…no cigar! I could not escape. Finally, I did what any all-American abductee would do, I chewed my way free!   

"What I do for you, Mary!"

She is WO-MAN!

Say a prayer!

What am I doing here?!
 

The teeth still work!

Kids Table

Big Kids Table

 

Day 331 ~ Chance of a Lifetime

November 27, 2014

My Instead: My mother and I visited my grandmother's grave on the 80th anniversary of her death.

My sister-in-law Pam invited me to her Thanksgiving dinner with her family. I’m usually somewhat single every year, so this is her wonderful gesture to assure me that I am never alone. Thank you, Pam. This year I took her up on her offer. My mother is always invited, as well, so I invited her to hitch a ride with me.

This Thanksgiving Day was a special one for my mom. Her mother Amelia, whom she lost to tuberculosis when she was only 6-years-old, died eighty years ago today. I know…not much for which to be thankful, right? Eighty years ago, this young 26-year-old woman was taken from this life, her husband and her two small children to begin her eternal life embraced in the love and mercy of our Creator.

Mom mentioned to me the night before that she was going to visit her mother’s grave before going to Bruce and Pam’s house. I knew that I would be there by her side. As we pulled into the cemetery and then to the circle drive near my grandmother’s plot, I expressed to Mom how I remembered going there so often as a child. It was comforting to revisit that memory.

We cleared the snow and ice from the stone and the poinsettias as best we could. And there we stood. With sadness in her sigh, Mom whispered that her mother’s been gone a lifetime. I had already thought of that and of all the things a lifetime holds and all that my grandmother missed: seeing her kids grow up, the blessing of grandchildren, the joy of work and play, of family and friends. And we missed HER! We missed out on having this woman in our lives that sang while working at her sewing machine, that appreciated us for who we are, that put love into all she did…that never wanted to leave her life at 26.

Afterwards, I suggested to Mom that we take a “selfie” with Grandma. Mom said that she didn’t want to hear about this going on Facebook. I assured her that it would not. I reminded her of ALL the photos her mother had not been in and that I believed Grandma would have wanted us to do this. Mom agreed.

On our way back home that evening, Mom and I talked about our Thanksgiving and how thankful she was that I shared it with her. She told me that last year she cried all the way home from Bruce and Pam’s, missing my dad. I was happy that I went with her “instead” of going crazy with my own preparations for my Thanksgiving the next day. I shared a gentle reminder with Mom: how blessed we both are to get to live our lifetime, to see our kids grow up, to know the blessing of grandchildren, to work and to play, and to enjoy family and friends.

Thank you, Grandma...

 

Day 330 ~ Alone at Last

November 26, 2014

My Instead: I walked on a snowy nature trail alone at night.

As I worked my second job today in the warmth of my client’s home, a beautiful snowfall blanketed the earth. It was the kind that clung to the barren tree limbs and also to those stubborn leaves still hanging on for dear life.  It was the kind that you could just sit at your window and watch it fall. It was the kind that set the mood for Christmas. It was the kind for which a hot chocolate would be the perfect accessary. It was the kind that could seduce you and say, “Go take that winter wonderland walk”.

It was almost 5 o’clock and night was falling as quickly as the snow. My destination seemed farther away than I thought because of my growing determination to get there. When I finally arrived, I parked the car in the vacant parking lot and walked up to the park playground that my grandchildren and I enjoyed in the summer. It looked lonely and forgotten. 

I began my trek on the path around the lake to the opening leading into the snow-laden woods. The trees seemed to weep as the snow melted from their branches. As I continued on the desolate trail, I was alone...and feeling lonely. I felt a yearning for people. Where are they? Then I beckoned the deceased…my dad, my grandparents, my friend Beth, my uncles and aunts and cousins. I struggled trying to feel their presence in the darkness. God was there with me, but even His presence felt distant. What was happening? Did I need background music and twinkling lights to appreciate this? Did I need someone there with which to share this moment? How lonely being alone can be!

“Get me out of here!” My pace quickened as I headed to my equally lonely Honda in the parking lot. My vulnerability felt like an open wound. Where should I go? To Mom’s...of course.

 

Day 329 ~ You’ll Feel Better

November 25, 2014

My Instead: I did a Neti Pot treatment on Annette to help her head cold.

I’m a jerk. Well, not all the time. Yesterday I think I was though. Annette was really feeling awful with her cold and I wasn’t much of a comfort or a nursemaid. I was more concerned with my online shopping for photo gifts for Christmas. I can be really hyper focused when it comes to preparing for Christmas, especially when I’m on my laptop. No ADD when I’m on a mission.

Unfortunately for Annette, I am not Florence Nightingale when it comes to sick people. I can run and get some water and some Tylenol, but I’m a little light on the sympathy. I’m not sure how I got this way. I think living alone for so many years and not having anyone to wait on me and show sympathy has had something to do with it. Anyway, that’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it!

Knowing how sweet and kind and giving Annette can be and is, I was slowly being cloaked in guilt as the evening went on. During the night, I slept intermittently, being awakened by the constant reminder of my remorse.

Feeling similar to how Scrooge felt the morning after his dream visitors, I was determined to turn things around. I had brought my Neti Pot with me Saturday night, knowing that Annette might need a treatment. She was still not feeling the greatest, but was up making coffee and preparing a ham and biscuit sandwich for the road…all for me. I told her that I wanted to do the Neti Pot treatment on her before I left and she agreed…anything that would make her feel better. She was unaware that it would make me feel better too. I prepared the Neti Pot with a warm saline solution and leaned her head over the sink. She took it like a real trouper and said her nose felt clearer when it was all over. My conscience felt clearer too. 

Day 328 ~ Neck of the Woods

November 24, 2014

My Instead: I explored my girlfriend's property out in the country alone.

It was my last day to spend at Annette’s place in Farmington…it was a Monday. And it was especially a Monday for Annette. She had a cold that had knocked her off her feet and she was down for the count. I spent a big part of the afternoon trying to order photo gifts online for Christmas. Tired of dealing with a slow internet, I decided to abandon my online shopping and explore Annette’s “neck of the woods”.

I had never paid a visit to her five dogs in their pens, so they were my first stop. (Special note…I am not a dog person.) Shadow, her German Shepherd, greeted me with curiosity and enthusiasm. I ran up and down beside his pen and he galloped right alongside me. I couldn’t figure out who was panting more when we had finished. Next were Annette’s two Pugs, Iggie and Amish, and her Cocker Spaniel, Callie. The Pugs were very energetic and interested. I think they were blown away by my sudden and unusual interest in them. Callie did not even know I was there. At her age of 16 years, I doubt that she would care even if she had known. And lastly, Pepper the Pekingese, always the nosiest dog from a distance, was a little camera shy when I began to take pictures of her with my phone.

Having enough of the “wild life”, I wandered to the rear of Annette’s property. Almost naked from autumn’s disrobing, the woods looked different now than it did in its summer attire. I traipsed around the barren trees and crunched the leaves beneath my feet. I took in the crispness of the chilly air and the ambience of the random clouds with the setting sun hiding behind them. The silhouette of the tree limbs reaching upward reminded me of frazzled nerves.

The evening wrapped around me and I felt the joy of being a “sole” mate in the nature that surrounded me. Then I heard gun fire and remembered that it was deer season. Where is my fluorescent orange cap when I needed it? I sauntered toward the opening leading to Annette’s back yard where I was safe, but still ready to dodge a speeding bullet if I had too.

Despite the gun shot and despite winter’s oncoming battle yet to be waged, peace was alive and present. All I had to do was take the time to breathe it in.

Shadow

Iggie and Amish

Iggie and Amish

 Iggie and Amish

Pepper

 

 

Day 327 ~ Not to Be Outdone

November 23, 2014

My Instead: I joined Annette’s parents outside to help them work in her yard in the drizzling rain.

It was another weekend spent in Farmington, Missouri with my girlfriend Annette. This time her parents were visiting from Butler, Missouri which is over five hours away. They arrived on Friday afternoon and I rode in at 7 p.m. the next evening. The three of them had spent a big part of their Saturday raking, blowing and mulching leaves in Annette’s huge yard. Her dad had even gotten out his chain saw and cut down some dead trees. He is 81 and works like a 50-year-old…no exaggeration. Her mom is 79 and keeps up, right by his side. They amaze me!

On Sunday morning, Annette and I were both taking advantage of sleeping in. She had a fresh cold and I was just starting to get over mine. When I got up, I looked out the bedroom window and noticed a fire burning. I knew that her dad was already outside, busy with whatever chores he noticed that needed to be done. I went downstairs, got some coffee and sat at my laptop ready to tackle yet another blog. That is when I saw Annette’s mom and dad buzzing around in the front yard in the drizzling rain. Enough of this! I'm not going to sit inside while these two people (almost 20 years my senior) are out there working. I dressed and was outside in five minutes.

Her dad and I surmised what was next to be done. We got the riding lawn mower out, hooked up Annette’s wagon and headed down to the woods to move the logs he had cut the day before. They would be great for Annette’s wood burning stove after he splits them with his wood splitter next spring. Annette joined us, even in the wake of her cold’s misery. She did the hauling and the parents and I did the loading and unloading. We had a good system going.

The four of us worked outside for an hour or so under a slow drizzle of rain, perfect weather…for getting sick or sicker. Deciding that it made better sense to come in out of the rain, we went inside for some hot coffee and biscuits and gravy. What a fun Sunday morning…better than church! So glad I decided "not to be outdone".

 

 

Day 326 ~ Damage Control

November 22, 2014

My Instead: I spoke with Tyler about being truly sorry after hitting his cousin Abbey in the face with a basketball the night before.

Last night when my son Kyle and his wife Shaundra came to pick up their kids, Abbey and Andy, we all sat a spell in my living room. Noticing a basketball sitting around as well, my grandsons, Tyler and Danny, decided to toss it around. Why didn’t Grandma (that be me) say “No playing ball in the house.”? Abbey and Andy became part of the ball toss. Soon Andy got beamed in the head, but was okay. Abbey asked Tyler to throw it fast at her, which Tyler did. Ouch! Next thing you knew, Abbey was in tears in her mother’s arms. Shaundra was mad and I knew it. Tyler apologized like a typical kid (I’d better do this so I don’t get into more trouble). It didn’t work so much. Shaundra and the rest of the family were out the door. I knew Shaundra was livid.

The next morning, Tyler and I were alone in the kitchen while Danny was outside shooting hoops. Let the preaching begin! I tried to explain to Tyler about Shaundra’s anger…how a mother can be when her child has been hurt. Then I continued: “What about Shaundra’s perception of you? She likes you, Tyler. But when you hurt her daughter, be it on purpose or by accident, her image of you is damaged. It is up to you to repair it as best you can by giving her a sincere apology…looking her in the eye. Are you TRULY sorry? Of course, you are and I know that, but Shaundra needs to hear it from you.” Tyler understood as best as an 11 ½-year-old could.

Since we were going to my sister’s later that day for a birthday party, I asked if he would give Shaundra a sincere “I’m sorry” then. He said he would.  

While at the party and after several urgings and reminders, Tyler had still not done the deed. The meal, the gift opening and the birthday candle blowout were finished. Shaundra and Kyle announced that they were ready to leave. I yelled downstairs to Tyler. No answer. Then I went down to “encourage” him once more. He went upstairs and I was able to hear the tail end of an “I’m sorry”. He ran back down to the basement to continue playing with his cousins. Shaundra immediately said to me that I made him do that. I said no, I encouraged him to do that and that they can’t learn if you don’t teach them.  

Caring “what other people think” is oftentimes thought to be a futile exercise. But is it really? In some cases, I would say yes. Some people will think what they want no matter what you do. Their “filters” are too muddied with their own ugly self-image to see anything but what they see in the mirror. On the other hand…well, this next paragraph may shed some light on what I mean…

I recently read an article by John Wooden stating that “Your reputation is who people think you are, your character is who you really are.” The article leaned towards the thinking that you can only have one or the other: a good reputation or good character. I disagree. Yes, I guess one can have a great reputation, but be a little stinker on the inside. However, none of us is perfect and we are bound to slip in either of these arenas. It’s a given. However, I believe nurturing your character will naturally nurture your reputation, at least to the people that are wise enough to know genuine when they see it.

 

Day 325 ~ Pyramid Wonders

November 21, 2014

My Instead: My grandkids and I built human pyramids.

It was my lucky night. My daughter Robin asked if I wanted the boys tonight. My evening was open, so yes! Then my daughter-in-law Shaundra texted me to see if I wanted “two lovely grandchildren to keep me company for a few hours". Talk about synchronicity! Of course, I said yes!

I picked up the boys from their first school dance and listened to their stories of “romance”. Okay, maybe not so much. Thankfully, they are still boys and not really into the “girl thing” yet…well, at least not into any of them in their class. Shaundra and my son Kyle dropped off Abbey and Andy at my house and were on their way for a nice quiet dinner alone.

Not really concerned about what the kids wanted to do, I said “Let’s build pyramids!” They were a little confused until I explained what I meant. Abbey was the first to be the pinnacle. The boys “willingly” knelt down and Abbey mounted. Andy was having his own fun climbing into and around the boys’ limbs. Abbey got brave and then stood up to show off her cheerleading aspirations. Andy was next with a little help from me and Abbey. He was king of the mountain! Tyler and Danny each had their turn with me as part of the pyramid foundation. Then it was my turn. Why should I miss out on all the fun! I think the boys were proud that they could hold me up, but they drew the line when I hinted that I wanted to stand up next.

After the pyramid building, we started doing headstands again. Danny is a pro and Tyler gave it his best shot. Then Kyle and Shaundra arrived to get the kids. I begged Shaundra to show off her talents at head standing, which she did. The fun settled down after the two little ones left...I fed the boys and then got busy catching up on my writing.

My hope is that we weren’t just building pyramids…

Tyler Pinnacle

Danny Pinnacle

Grandma Pinnacle

Andy Pinnacle

Abbey Pinnacle

Andy as part of the pyramid foundation

 

Day 324 ~ The Gift of Giving

November 20, 2014

My Instead: I took a photo collage over to one of my clients as a gift.

For almost three years now, I have been visiting Nadine every four weeks to clean her house and do whatever else she needs done. I have painted her garage and kitchen cabinets and have power washed her concrete pavements. I have detailed her car and shampooed her carpets. And I have had the pleasure of having lunch with her on many of these occasions.

Today I wanted to give back what she has given me…a symbol of our friendship. I chose one of the nicer pieces of my photography that I had on display to sell at the LTDA Holiday Boutique in October. It was a collage of country scenery and flowers. Nadine doesn’t get out much, especially in winter, and she loves flowers. This was perfect for my friend.

As soon as I entered her kitchen, I handed her the framed gift and said that I wanted her to have this…I figured her walls had room for some sunshine. She loved it and began thinking of where to hang it. She spotted the rounded mirror in her kitchen and asked me to take it down and hang her collage there. I immediately granted her wish. Then we enjoyed a cup of coffee and caught up on each other’s lives. As we talked, she offered the displaced mirror to me if I wanted it. I was surprised at her offer and said yes, thinking it might go well in my living room. It was the perfect gift exchange between friends.

Who said Christmas comes but once a year? Its spirit is here now. Like a blind person unable to see the world, but still knows that it exists.

And all WE have to do is open our eyes.

 

Day 323 ~ What Better Time to Spend Time!

November 19, 2014

My Instead: Instead of cleaning, I sat with my 93-year-old client Norman for an hour just talking.

Today was my day to clean Norman’s little house on Gilbert Street. He wasn’t there when I arrived so I let myself in with the key he had given me. Without hesitation, I began my duties. He got home when I was about half completed, so he went to his perch in the living room to rest.

When I moved into the living room to clean it, he asked if we could schedule the next time I would be coming. He grabbed his pocket calendar as I sat down to look at my phone’s calendar. We planned for Monday, December 1^st to be my next visit. Then I just kept sitting with Norman. He has a lot of alone time since he wife passed away about ten years ago so he appreciates companionship whenever he can get it. I had nowhere else to be after his house so what better time to spend time with this gentleman!

I think Norman sensed that I was going to sit a spell with him, so he took the opportunity and ran with it. He began telling all kinds of stories about his days in the service. He was an innocent man who got married at the young age of 20, still a virgin! As a young husband overseas and away from home, he missed his wife and, above all, was faithful to her. He talked about other men he knew that were out for one thing. And there was plenty of that “one thing” to be had…but not for Norman. He also said he would marry the same woman over again.

He joked about what his buddies would say “A woman's ass and a whiskey glass make many a man a horse's ass.” Have truer words ever been spoken? The guys would ask Norman why he wasn’t going for the ladies. He kept reminding them that he was a married man. He asked me if I thought that he missed something. Yes, I’m sure he missed something and it wasn’t good. Now he can live out his days without regret.

We talked about Thanksgiving and what he was going to do. He said probably nothing. His son that lives in the area is way over in St. Louis and he doesn’t like to drive that far at night. I thought he might be upset, but he said that he didn’t care. He explained that as you get older not much “winds your clock” or “shakes your grate”. Those phrases both mean “upset you”. That old dog was still teaching me a thing or two.

With his empty stomach beckoning him, he said he had to leave and get something to eat. I stayed, still having some cleaning to finish up. As he stepped out of the living room, he turned back around and said “Come here and let me give you a hug, Mary”. We embraced as he called me his best friend.

 

Day 322 ~ All About Mom

November 18, 2014

My Instead: I took a copy of one of my blogs over to my mom to read. She had never read one before and this one was about her from November 12^th.

On November 12^th, I took my mom one of my photographs of a country road and what that photo evoked in her was amazing! That night she spoke of things she had never told me before. After her disclosure, I couldn’t wait to write about it. What else don’t I know about my mother? What other stories lie within her 86-year-old memory?

This morning I went to her house to lay down her finally-dried carpet pieces after her water heater mishap. But this time I had a special treat for her. She had never read any of the 300-plus blogs that I had written thus far in 2014. This one was Day 316 - Country Road Takes Her Home. I handed her the paper and she sat down to read…there was a chuckle, then a furled brow of concern about who was going to read this. I told her that I had posted it on Facebook, which I had that morning. She didn’t freak out, but simply asked if she could keep this copy.

We talked a bit about it and about her grandmother that raised her. Mom lost her mother when she was 6-years-old and was at the mercy of Grandma Sophie until she was 19 when her grandmother finally died. Grandma Sophie was not a happy person and my mother was the one on whom she showered her verbal cruelty and physical abuse. Memories of that time flooded my mother’s head, even now in her 80s. Scars as deep as hers are impossible to obliterate.

This morning was different though. My mom shared something endearing: Grandma Sophie would go visit her daughter (my mom’s Aunt Edna) every weekend. My grandpa would give her a ride into Belleville from the farm on the Smithton road if he was available. If he was unable for some reason, she would walk. Mom said that soon after she would be on her way, someone would stop to give her a ride. But here is the yin-yang of it all. Before her grandma would leave, my mom would pin wild violets onto her coat. I pictured my young mother doing something so loving for someone who treated her with no love whatsoever.

Why? Mom said she did it so that Grandma would look nice for her visit. Somehow I don’t believe her intention was the total truth. And I doubt if she even knows that.  

 

Day 321 ~ Pillow Talk

November 17, 2014

My Instead: Annette and I talked from the time we woke up at 7 a.m. until 1 p.m.

After watching half a movie the night before because we were too tired to stay awake, Annette and I called it a day and went to bed. We awoke around 7 o’clock and gazed at the blustery day outside the window. And we talked.

We were the only two people inside and there were billions outside. It was just us and whatever popped into our heads was open game to share. One subject discussed was this: Annette is nice. Everyone who knows Annette, knows that. We talked at length about honesty and how important it is…even more than being nice. I need to know what Annette really thinks and how she really feels. I want to KNOW her more than anyone else does. That doesn’t mean that she has to be a jerk for me to get to know her. She just has to be completely open with me. She understood.

After we shared coffee over laughs and cinnamon rolls, our talk continued for hours, six to be exact. Neither one of us wanted to get up. Neither one of us was getting tired of sharing. We finally did get up at 1 o’clock so Annette could go feed the dogs. “All good things must come to an end” my mom always said when I was growing up. And this was a good thing…but I don’t think this is the end.

Simple things are always the perfect setting for Annette and me. 

 

Day 320 ~ Warmer Winter

November 16, 2014

My Instead: Annette and I took our first walk in the falling snow on her country road.

Annette’s visitors slowly came downstairs after our night of “partying like rock stars”. Their ride on the tipsy train was over…now they had to pay the piper. We all ate a little something and then they loaded up their cars to head back home, leaving Annette and me alone once again on the home front.

Annette cleaned up around the house and I did some writing. The snow flurry outside was turning whiter which gave me a great idea. She had to guess what it was. When I said “Let’s get bundled up,” she gave me a “raised eyebrow” look. She knew then that HER idea wasn’t going to happen. Instead, we were going to take our first walk on her road with an added bonus…it was snowing!

Looking like Paul Bunyan's sisters, we walked up to Highway 32 and then back to Annette's house. Of course, if we were going to continue, I would have to make a pit stop. When we stepped outside again, we headed in the other direction which was an even longer trek. We bantered back and forth about our present and our future, breathing in the crisp cold air. It felt good to get out among nature after a weekend of friends and frolic.

When we got back to the house, we warmed ourselves up with some hot chocolate, feeling good that our relationship was warmer too.

I'm ready for the cold!

 

Day 319 ~ Stop on a Dime

November 15, 2014

My Instead: While partying with my girlfriend's friends, I did a practical joke for the first time.

We all made it through last night’s “a hootin’ and a hollerin’” at 12 West in Farmington. We all know each other a little better now. Today we got to spend the whole day and night together. And everyone was sober…for a while.

Kim, one of Annette’s friends, likes photography, so she and I shared our talents with each other…her with her iPad and I with my laptop. We talked and laughed, shared stories and even cried a little. It’s all part of it. Then Kim told us an interesting story about how she and her husband Tom always find dimes, sharing a few of the unlikely instances. At first they dismissed it as coincidence and then realized it wasn’t. They decided to keep anymore dimes that they might find. To date, they had found and collected 72 dimes. I eventually asked if there was some connection to the dimes and something or someone in their life. Kim immediately said that Tom’s father had collected dimes. Wow! I think there’s some paranormal stuff going on here.

I am NOT a practical joker! But for some reason, I got the urge to play a practical joke on Kim. Annette and I were both in on it…well, she was the provider of the dimes. I started hiding dimes all over the place. When she found the first one right by my laptop, she immediately (after a millisecond thinking this was #73) said “You’re f------- with me, Mary”. Of course, I could not hold a straight face. We laughed…well, I think she laughed. Yea sure, she laughed.

Anyway, later in the evening after spirits had been imbibed for a bit, Tom’s dad’s spirit rose again. This time Tom found a dime on the step leading to the bedrooms. He called to Kim who was outside around the bonfire. She ran inside and he showed her the dime. Again, Kim endeared me with her “kind” words. We laughed…well, I think she laughed. Yea sure, she laughed.

I just don’t know what got into me to suddenly become the practical joker…but these “insteads” are sure fun sometimes!

The dime that Tom found on the step

Me with Kim, Theresa, and Annette

 

Day 318 ~ Banging and Clanging

November 14, 2014

My Instead: While at a bar & grill, I played along with the 2-person band with my own percussion instruments.

It was a Friday night which called for another trip to Farmington to see my girlfriend, Annette. And this weekend was special because she was having a couple of her old friends from high school, along with their husbands. She was eager for me to meet them and for them to meet me. I wasn’t nervous…well, maybe a little.

The two couples were there already when I finally arrived around 7 o’clock. Introductions were exchanged, then we were off to 12 West Bar and Grill where our friend Cindy was playing in a 2-person band called The Simpletons. After we all enjoyed some dinner and a few drinks, we sat back and listened to the band.  

During the course of the evening, I had one O’Doul’s and then it was just water for me. However, the drinks were flowing for everyone else which kind of loosened things up. Scott, the live wire of the bunch and husband to Theresa, is part of a band back home. Tonight, he was more than ready to make The Simpleton’s a 3-person band and delighted us all with his self-taught talent on the guitar.

The evening was taking on a life of its own and I was ready to breathe it all in. Cindy handed out some of her small percussion instruments so we could all be a part of the band. Entertainer blood always flowing in my veins, I shook the shaker and banged the knife on the glass. Any other time, I would have been run out of the place carrying on the way I did! Tonight there were no holds barred. As the kids like to say, “I can do whatever I want!” And I took full advantage. My only regret is that I never did get up and dance. I guess sometimes you just gotta bang and clang and save the dancing for Fred and Ginger.

Me, banging and clanging

The Simpletons and Scott

 

Day 317 ~ Girls’ Night Out

November 13, 2014

My Instead: I took my daughter Robin out for her belated 31^st birthday and then went to see “Expect Delays”, a movie for which I had auditioned.

My daughter Robin had turned 31 years old on October 28^th. I usually have her and her family over for a homemade dinner at my house, birthday cake and all! Having to juggle basketball schedules, Robin had a hard time committing to a date to have her birthday dinner. Finally, we decided to go a whole new route this year…a girls’ night out with no husband and no kids.  We’ve never done this to celebrate her birthday before.

She met me at my house and before we left I gave her a birthday card and her gift. Earlier in the day, I had checked to see if had bought a birthday card to give her. Yes, I found one! I wrote her name on the envelope and then opened the card to sign it. Surprised, I saw my mother’s handwriting, realizing that Mom had given me this card on my recent 62^nd birthday. No big deal…I’ll just pick one up when I’m out and about. But then I thought “Why can’t I just give her this card?” What better card to give my daughter! It said how I felt about her, the same way my mom felt about me. And Robin is 31, half my age. Perfect! She loved it.

Robin decided on the restaurant Bella Milanos which ended up being a wonderful choice. We sat outside in their contained patio, showing off its stone water fountain and gas flames. I had the best pistachio-encrusted tilapia in a medley if crispy spinach and prosciutto ham. I usually don’t make a big deal about food dishes, but this was amazing.

Robin and I talked about all kinds of things: her job, her son Tyler and her new “son” Danny, and her animals. We were like good friends. There was no need for “mothering”. She was all grown up, living a life full of responsibilities and undisclosed dreams. When we got back to my house we said our good-byes and our intimate evening was a memory.

Looking at the clock, I saw that I had time to go to the premier showing of “Expect Delays”. This was a Belleville-made movie for which I had auditioned earlier in the year. After viewing the video on line, I realized why I was not offered a part. My little tryout for which I had prepared in earnest turned out looking way too rehearsed!

During the feature, I sat amidst a crowd of movie-goers, mostly friends and family of the people that actually did get a part in the movie. My disappointed dream of someday appearing on the big screen sat beside me...

Robin and I out to dinner

Front of Robin's card

Inside of Robin's