My Instead: I emailed my son Kyle a note of thanks after he built a closet for me.
Because it was Veteran’s Day and my son Kyle was off work, he
promised to build a closet for me in my basement bedroom. This was actually the
last phase of my January home improvement project of turning two bedrooms into
one. This closet would hide the drain pipes used for the new bathroom upstairs.
Also, it would be providing me with more storage space for some things I still
had sitting around from the original bedrooms.
Kyle arrived at 8 o’clock ready to start. We talked about the
placement of the walls and some other specifications and then he got to work. I
was his little go-fer girl. That’s okay, though. I just wanted this done and
did not want to do it myself…he works a lot faster than I do.
Our conversations were mostly about the job. Nothing on a personal
note. I don’t often have those types of talks with Kyle and it kills me because
of how I am. I would love to be and feel closer to him, but there are no guarantees
about the relationship you have with your kids once they’re grown…no matter how
you’ve raised them. That baby I held at birth, the boy I loved and nurtured,
the young man I guided along the way is now this stranger standing before me…his
thoughts and feelings withheld. But he’s a good man, a quiet man. His true happiness
is all that matters, whether we have a connection or not.
My mom stopped by to witness her grandson hard at work, doing the
profession that her husband once did. Kyle was a bit friendlier and more conversational
to her. I guess the protocol with Grandma is different than what it is with Mom.
But I’ll never complain, witnessing him being good to my mom.
Kyle finished the job around 2 o’clock. I thanked and hugged him and
said my I love you. He said the same and drove away. Later that night, I
reflected on what he and I have as son and mother. I am always careful about
what I say to him, not wanting to be the busybody mom. Maybe my words would be
better received “written” rather than “spoken”. I wrote this thank you letter
to him:
Hi, Kyle,
I just wanted to say thank you for building
the closet in my basement today. I appreciate your dedication and workmanship. I'm
proud of you for how hard you work and how conscientious you
are about doing a good job. You should be proud too!
It was especially nice today because it
was just you and I. Our connection has changed since you were little and
I've accepted what we have now. After all, you are a grown man, a husband, and
a father...you're not my little boy anymore.
All I want is for you to be happy, really
happy. Whatever that turns out to be for you, I hope you find it and
live it always.
I love you, Mom
The next day I received a text from Kyle saying "...no problem love you!" It's all about that exclamation point!
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| My mom visited when Kyle built my closet |
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