My Instead: I went to dinner with my friend Kelly and brought her a gift of one my photos.
Since my friend Kelly
and I buried the hatchet on October 20th to once again repair our
friendship, we have not seen each other. We’ve talked a couple of times, but we
are walking softly and moving with caution to get our friendship back on
track.
Today Kelly called me in
the late afternoon and said that she was going to be in my "neck of the woods" visiting
her chiropractor. She asked me if I wanted to have dinner with her. I told her
that I was close to finishing up a job and I should be able to make it.
After going back and
forth over a couple of options, we chose a Mexican restaurant on the west end
of Belleville. I got there about 10 minutes after Kelly and joined her as she
munched on her guacamole and chips. We chatted a bit to climb over the heap of
discomfort that lay between us, still trying to patch the void created by the past 4
months.
The Five Love Languages
by Gary Chapman is one of the most interesting books I’ve ever read. It made
sense that the expression of love can be done in many different ways. And how one
reacts to a particular gesture of love may vary depending on the person. One of
the five love languages is "gift giving". After reading three of Dr. Chapman’s love
language books, I have determined that this is not my main love language. But
today it was! Giving Kelly a gift seemed to me to be a harmless and healthy
expression to let her know that I am serious about repairing our friendship. I
presented her with one of my framed photos from my holiday boutique event. I
took it when I was with her at the Copper Dock Winery in Pocahontas, Illinois. I thought it was the perfect choice! It was a photo of three swans resting on
the water in the glow of dusk.
Kelly was appreciative, delighted,
and surprised with my thoughtfulness…it’s not my most beaming quality. Then we
talked about the memory of our time at the winery. It put us both in a place
that circumvented our recent months of alienation. We continued our evening with
dinner and a trip back to my house to check out something on my laptop. I
showed her some of my other photos and gave her another one that I took while on the Great River
Road riding in the car with her from Grafton, Illinois. Later when Kelly got home, she
sent me a photo text of the two photos setting on her window shelf.
A simple gift…a language of
love and friendship. 
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