My Instead: My grandsons Tyler and Danny and I played pick-up sticks and then I shared a lesson with them.
Today was my daughter’s 31st
birthday and, of course, she wanted to celebrate without kids. Enter Grandma,
the babysitter, even though Tyler and Danny are now tween-agers! After enjoying
my gourmet dinner of hotdogs, cauliflower, and salad, we got busy with
homework. Now I remember why I’m happy my kids are raised. Helping with
homework was oftentimes frustrating and frustrating. Oh, did I repeat myself?
Well, you get my drift. The frustration for me at homework time is seeing that all they want is to
know the answer and get it over with. The process of thinking and actually
learning is irrelevant.
After about an hour of this anguish,
their homework was as done as it was gonna get. Time to play. Neither of them had
ever played pick-up sticks before, so tonight was the night. I explained what
the rules were according to what I remembered as a kid. To my surprise, the boys were pretty intense and competitive. They were
enjoying the challenge and the process, unlike their homework experience.
We played our game for about an hour
and then it was movie time and what better movie to watch during Halloween season but
The Exorcist! It was getting late, however, and Danny was out within ten
minutes. I informed Tyler that I had to get some sleep, so he opted to cut the
movie short. He was not going to watch a scary movie alone at nighttime.
The next morning I made the usual,
pancakes, and the boys filled up quickly. I suggested that we play pick-up sticks
again and they were all in! I handed each of them a handful of sticks and then
exclaimed “Wasn’t that fun!” They looked
at me like I had two heads as I grabbed the sticks and put them back into the
can.
After sarcastically asking them about what the problem was, I explained: Having the answer or the result is not the most important thing. It’s about the
process. It’s the journey, not the destination. What if your coach greeted you before the game
and said “Good game, guys. You all did well.” You would think he’s crazy
because you hadn’t even played the game yet. But, hey, you have the end result!
What difference does it make? Well, it makes a difference, all right, because you
missed all the fun, the exercise, the excitement, the comradery. What if on Christmas
morning, you woke up and found all your new toys lying at the bottom of your
closet…no unwrapping, no family gatherings, no holiday meals, no Christmas
decorations or music…just the stuff. Would Christmas bring you joy like it had
in the past? I doubt it.
Even as we were on the road going
back to their house to catch the bus, I continued with analogies to prove my
point. Then I summarized by saying that what we do and how we do it is the
point. The result is but a reflection…the depth is in the doing!
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