My Instead: I took a copy of one of my blogs over to my mom to
read. She had never read one before and this one was about her from November 12th.
On November 12th, I took my mom one of my photographs
of a country road and what that photo evoked in her was amazing! That night she
spoke of things she had never told me before. After her disclosure, I couldn’t
wait to write about it. What else don’t I know about my mother? What other stories
lie within her 86-year-old memory?
This morning I went to her house to lay down her finally-dried
carpet pieces after her water heater mishap. But this time I had a special
treat for her. She had never read any of the 300-plus blogs that I had written
thus far in 2014. This one was Day 316
- Country Road Takes Her Home. I handed her the paper and she
sat down to read…there was a chuckle, then a furled brow of concern about who
was going to read this. I told her that I had posted it on Facebook, which I had
that morning. She didn’t freak out, but simply asked if she could keep this
copy.
We
talked a bit about it and about her grandmother that raised her. Mom lost her
mother when she was 6-years-old and was at the mercy of Grandma Sophie
until she was 19 when her grandmother finally died. Grandma Sophie was not a
happy person and my mother was the one on whom she showered her verbal cruelty
and physical abuse. Memories of that time flooded my mother’s head, even now in
her 80s. Scars as deep as hers are impossible to obliterate.
This
morning was different though. My mom shared something endearing: Grandma Sophie
would go visit her daughter (my mom’s Aunt Edna) every weekend. My grandpa
would give her a ride into Belleville from the farm on the Smithton road if he
was available. If he was unable for some reason, she would walk. Mom said that
soon after she would be on her way, someone would stop to give her a ride. But here is the yin-yang of
it all. Before her grandma would leave, my mom would pin wild violets onto her
coat. I pictured my young mother doing something so loving for someone who
treated her with no love whatsoever.
Why?
Mom said she did it so that Grandma would look nice for her visit. Somehow I
don’t believe her intention was the total truth. And I doubt if she even knows
that.
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